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+% SiSU 4.0.0
+@title: Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
+ :author: Carroll, Lewis
+ :published: 1865
+ :created: 1865
+ :available: 1865
+ :added_to_site: 2004-04-12
+% 2005-10-30
+ :copyright: Lewis Carroll
+ :license: Public Domain
+ :topic_register: SiSU markup sample:book:novel;
+ book:novel:fiction:fantasy|children's fiction
+ { Alice in Wonderland @ Wikipedia }http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alice%27s_Adventures_in_Wonderland
+ { Lewis Carroll @ Wikipedia }http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lewis_Carroll
+ :headings: none; none; none; CHAPTER;
+ :breaks: new=3; break=4
+:A~ @title @creator \\ The Millennium Fulcrum Edition 3.0 [text only]
+CHAPTER I - Down the Rabbit-Hole
+Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, `and what is the use of a book,' thought Alice `without pictures or conversation?'
+So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the hot day
+made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of making a
+daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and picking the daisies,
+when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her.
+There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it so VERY
+much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, `Oh dear! Oh dear! I
+shall be late!' (when she thought it over afterwards, it occurred to her that
+she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite
+natural); but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-
+POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice started to her feet, for
+it flashed across her mind that she had never before seen a rabbit with either
+a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to take out of it, and burning with curiosity,
+she ran across the field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it
+pop down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge.
+In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the
+world she was to get out again.
+The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then dipped
+suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think about stopping
+herself before she found herself falling down a very deep well.
+Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had plenty of
+time as she went down to look about her and to wonder what was going to happen
+next. First, she tried to look down and make out what she was coming to, but it
+was too dark to see anything; then she looked at the sides of the well, and
+noticed that they were filled with cupboards and book-shelves; here and there
+she saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the
+shelves as she passed; it was labelled `ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great
+disappointment it was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear of
+killing somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as she fell
+past it.
+`Well!' thought Alice to herself, `after such a fall as this, I shall think
+nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they'll all think me at home! Why, I
+wouldn't say anything about it, even if I fell off the top of the house!'
+(Which was very likely true.)
+Down, down, down. Would the fall NEVER come to an end! `I wonder how many miles
+I've fallen by this time?' she said aloud. `I must be getting somewhere near
+the centre of the earth. Let me see: that would be four thousand miles down, I
+think--' (for, you see, Alice had learnt several things of this sort in her
+lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was not a VERY good opportunity for
+showing off her knowledge, as there was no one to listen to her, still it was
+good practice to say it over) `--yes, that's about the right distance--but then
+I wonder what Latitude or Longitude I've got to?' (Alice had no idea what
+Latitude was, or Longitude either, but thought they were nice grand words to
+Presently she began again. `I wonder if I shall fall right THROUGH the earth!
+How funny it'll seem to come out among the people that walk with their heads
+downward! The Antipathies, I think--' (she was rather glad there WAS no one
+listening, this time, as it didn't sound at all the right word) `--but I shall
+have to ask them what the name of the country is, you know. Please, Ma'am, is
+this New Zealand or Australia?' (and she tried to curtsey as she spoke--fancy
+CURTSEYING as you're falling through the air! Do you think you could manage
+it?) `And what an ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking! No, it'll
+never do to ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere.'
+Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon began talking
+again. `Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I should think!' (Dinah was the
+cat.) `I hope they'll remember her saucer of milk at tea-time. Dinah my dear! I
+wish you were down here with me! There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but
+you might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse, you know. But do cats eat
+bats, I wonder?' And here Alice began to get rather sleepy, and went on saying
+to herself, in a dreamy sort of way, `Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and
+sometimes, `Do bats eat cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either
+question, it didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt that she was
+dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she was walking hand in hand with
+Dinah, and saying to her very earnestly, `Now, Dinah, tell me the truth: did
+you ever eat a bat?' when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of
+sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over.
+Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a moment: she
+looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her was another long passage,
+and the White Rabbit was still in sight, hurrying down it. There was not a
+moment to be lost: away went Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear
+it say, as it turned a corner, `Oh my ears and whiskers, how late it's
+getting!' She was close behind it when she turned the corner, but the Rabbit
+was no longer to be seen: she found herself in a long, low hall, which was lit
+up by a row of lamps hanging from the roof.
+There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked; and when Alice
+had been all the way down one side and up the other, trying every door, she
+walked sadly down the middle, wondering how she was ever to get out again.
+Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of solid glass;
+there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key, and Alice's first thought was
+that it might belong to one of the doors of the hall; but, alas! either the
+locks were too large, or the key was too small, but at any rate it would not
+open any of them. However, on the second time round, she came upon a low
+curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a little door about
+fifteen inches high: she tried the little golden key in the lock, and to her
+great delight it fitted!
+Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small passage, not much
+larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and looked along the passage into the
+loveliest garden you ever saw. How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and
+wander about among those beds of bright flowers and those cool fountains, but
+she could not even get her head through the doorway; `and even if my head would
+go through,' thought poor Alice, `it would be of very little use without my
+shoulders. Oh, how I wish I could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if
+I only know how to begin.' For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had
+happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were
+really impossible.
+There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she went back to
+the table, half hoping she might find another key on it, or at any rate a book
+of rules for shutting people up like telescopes: this time she found a little
+bottle on it, (`which certainly was not here before,' said Alice,) and round
+the neck of the bottle was a paper label, with the words `DRINK ME' beautifully
+printed on it in large letters.
+It was all very well to say `Drink me,' but the wise little Alice was not going
+to do THAT in a hurry. `No, I'll look first,' she said, `and see whether it's
+marked "poison" or not'; for she had read several nice little histories about
+children who had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts and other unpleasant
+things, all because they WOULD not remember the simple rules their friends had
+taught them: such as, that a red-hot poker will burn you if you hold it too
+long; and that if you cut your finger VERY deeply with a knife, it usually
+bleeds; and she had never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle
+marked `poison,' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later.
+However, this bottle was NOT marked `poison,' so Alice ventured to taste it,
+and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavour of
+cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast turkey, toffee, and hot buttered
+toast,) she very soon finished it off.
+* * * * ~#
+ * * * ~#
+* * * * ~#
+`What a curious feeling!' said Alice; `I must be shutting up like a telescope.'
+And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and her face brightened
+up at the thought that she was now the right size for going through the little
+door into that lovely garden. First, however, she waited for a few minutes to
+see if she was going to shrink any further: she felt a little nervous about
+this; `for it might end, you know,' said Alice to herself, `in my going out
+altogether, like a candle. I wonder what I should be like then?' And she tried
+to fancy what the flame of a candle is like after the candle is blown out, for
+she could not remember ever having seen such a thing.
+After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided on going into
+the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when she got to the door, she
+found she had forgotten the little golden key, and when she went back to the
+table for it, she found she could not possibly reach it: she could see it quite
+plainly through the glass, and she tried her best to climb up one of the legs
+of the table, but it was too slippery; and when she had tired herself out with
+trying, the poor little thing sat down and cried.
+`Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to herself, rather
+sharply; `I advise you to leave off this minute!' She generally gave herself
+very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it), and sometimes she
+scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she
+remembered trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in a game of
+croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious child was very fond
+of pretending to be two people. `But it's no use now,' thought poor Alice, `to
+pretend to be two people! Why, there's hardly enough of me left to make ONE
+respectable person!'
+Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table: she
+opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on which the words `EAT ME' were
+beautifully marked in currants. `Well, I'll eat it,' said Alice, `and if it
+makes me grow larger, I can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I
+can creep under the door; so either way I'll get into the garden, and I don't
+care which happens!'
+She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, `Which way? Which way?',
+holding her hand on the top of her head to feel which way it was growing, and
+she was quite surprised to find that she remained the same size: to be sure,
+this generally happens when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much into the
+way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, that it seemed
+quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the common way.
+So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.
+* * * * ~#
+ * * * ~#
+* * * * ~#
+CHAPTER II - The Pool of Tears
+`Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much surprised, that for the
+moment she quite forgot how to speak good English); `now I'm opening out like
+the largest telescope that ever was! Good-bye, feet!' (for when she looked down
+at her feet, they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so far
+off). `Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on your shoes and
+stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure _{I}_ shan't be able! I shall be a great
+deal too far off to trouble myself about you: you must manage the best way you
+can; --but I must be kind to them,' thought Alice, `or perhaps they won't walk
+the way I want to go! Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of boots every
+And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it. `They must go by
+the carrier,' she thought; `and how funny it'll seem, sending presents to one's
+own feet! And how odd the directions will look!
+Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!'
+Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in fact she was now
+more than nine feet high, and she at once took up the little golden key and
+hurried off to the garden door.
+Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one side, to look
+through into the garden with one eye; but to get through was more hopeless than
+ever: she sat down and began to cry again.
+`You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, `a great girl like you,'
+(she might well say this), `to go on crying in this way! Stop this moment, I
+tell you!' But she went on all the same, shedding gallons of tears, until there
+was a large pool all round her, about four inches deep and reaching half down
+the hall.
+After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the distance, and she
+hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming. It was the White Rabbit
+returning, splendidly dressed, with a pair of white kid gloves in one hand and
+a large fan in the other: he came trotting along in a great hurry, muttering to
+himself as he came, `Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! won't she be savage if
+I've kept her waiting!' Alice felt so desperate that she was ready to ask help
+of any one; so, when the Rabbit came near her, she began, in a low, timid
+voice, `If you please, sir--' The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white
+kid gloves and the fan, and skurried away into the darkness as hard as he could
+Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very hot, she kept
+fanning herself all the time she went on talking: `Dear, dear! How queer
+everything is to-day! And yesterday things went on just as usual. I wonder if
+I've been changed in the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this
+morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm
+not the same, the next question is, Who in the world am I? Ah, THAT'S the great
+puzzle!' And she began thinking over all the children she knew that were of the
+same age as herself, to see if she could have been changed for any of them.
+`I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, `for her hair goes in such long ringlets, and
+mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm sure I can't be Mabel, for I know
+all sorts of things, and she, oh! she knows such a very little! Besides, SHE'S
+she, and I'm I, and--oh dear, how puzzling it all is! I'll try if I know all
+the things I used to know. Let me see: four times five is twelve, and four
+times six is thirteen, and four times seven is--oh dear! I shall never get to
+twenty at that rate! However, the Multiplication Table doesn't signify: let's
+try Geography. London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of
+Rome, and Rome--no, THAT'S all wrong, I'm certain! I must have been changed for
+Mabel! I'll try and say "How doth the little--"' and she crossed her hands on
+her lap as if she were saying lessons, and began to repeat it, but her voice
+sounded hoarse and strange, and the words did not come the same as they used to
+ `How doth the little crocodile
+ Improve his shining tail,
+ And pour the waters of the Nile
+ On every golden scale!
+ `How cheerfully he seems to grin,
+ How neatly spread his claws,
+ And welcome little fishes in
+ With gently smiling jaws!'
+"I'm sure those are not the right words," said poor Alice, and her eyes filled
+with tears again as she went on, `I must be Mabel after all, and I shall have
+to go and live in that poky little house, and have next to no toys to play
+with, and oh! ever so many lessons to learn! No, I've made up my mind about it;
+if I'm Mabel, I'll stay down here! It'll be no use their putting their heads
+down and saying "Come up again, dear!" I shall only look up and say "Who am I
+then? Tell me that first, and then, if I like being that person, I'll come up:
+if not, I'll stay down here till I'm somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried
+Alice, with a sudden burst of tears, "I do wish they WOULD put their heads
+down! I am so VERY tired of being all alone here!"
+As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was surprised to see that
+she had put on one of the Rabbit's little white kid gloves while she was
+talking. `How CAN I have done that?' she thought. `I must be growing small
+again.' She got up and went to the table to measure herself by it, and found
+that, as nearly as she could guess, she was now about two feet high, and was
+going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found out that the cause of this was the
+fan she was holding, and she dropped it hastily, just in time to avoid
+shrinking away altogether.
+`That WAS a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal frightened at the sudden
+change, but very glad to find herself still in existence; `and now for the
+garden!' and she ran with all speed back to the little door: but, alas! the
+little door was shut again, and the little golden key was lying on the glass
+table as before, `and things are worse than ever,' thought the poor child, `for
+I never was so small as this before, never! And I declare it's too bad, that it
+As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another moment, splash! she
+was up to her chin in salt water. Her first idea was that she had somehow
+fallen into the sea, `and in that case I can go back by railway,' she said to
+herself. (Alice had been to the seaside once in her life, and had come to the
+general conclusion, that wherever you go to on the English coast you find a
+number of bathing machines in the sea, some children digging in the sand with
+wooden spades, then a row of lodging houses, and behind them a railway
+station.) However, she soon made out that she was in the pool of tears which
+she had wept when she was nine feet high.
+`I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam about, trying to find
+her way out. `I shall be punished for it now, I suppose, by being drowned in my
+own tears! That WILL be a queer thing, to be sure! However, everything is queer
+Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a little way off, and
+she swam nearer to make out what it was: at first she thought it must be a
+walrus or hippopotamus, but then she remembered how small she was now, and she
+soon made out that it was only a mouse that had slipped in like herself.
+`Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice, `to speak to this mouse?
+Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I should think very likely it
+can talk: at any rate, there's no harm in trying.' So she began: `O Mouse, do
+you know the way out of this pool? I am very tired of swimming about here, O
+Mouse!' (Alice thought this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse: she
+had never done such a thing before, but she remembered having seen in her
+brother's Latin Grammar, `A mouse--of a mouse--to a mouse--a mouse--O mouse!')
+The Mouse looked at her rather inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with
+one of its little eyes, but it said nothing.
+`Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; `I daresay it's a
+French mouse, come over with William the Conqueror.' (For, with all her
+knowledge of history, Alice had no very clear notion how long ago anything had
+happened.) So she began again: `Ou est ma chatte?' which was the first sentence
+in her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the water, and
+seemed to quiver all over with fright. `Oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice
+hastily, afraid that she had hurt the poor animal's feelings. `I quite forgot
+you didn't like cats.'
+`Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate voice. `Would YOU
+like cats if you were me?'
+`Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone: `don't be angry about it.
+And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah: I think you'd take a fancy to
+cats if you could only see her. She is such a dear quiet thing,' Alice went on,
+half to herself, as she swam lazily about in the pool, `and she sits purring so
+nicely by the fire, licking her paws and washing her face--and she is such a
+nice soft thing to nurse--and she's such a capital one for catching mice--oh, I
+beg your pardon!' cried Alice again, for this time the Mouse was bristling all
+over, and she felt certain it must be really offended. `We won't talk about her
+any more if you'd rather not.'
+`We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end of his tail.
+`As if I would talk on such a subject! Our family always HATED cats: nasty,
+low, vulgar things! Don't let me hear the name again!'
+`I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change the subject of
+conversation. `Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?' The Mouse did not answer,
+so Alice went on eagerly: `There is such a nice little dog near our house I
+should like to show you! A little bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh, such
+long curly brown hair! And it'll fetch things when you throw them, and it'll
+sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts of things--I can't remember half
+of them--and it belongs to a farmer, you know, and he says it's so useful, it's
+worth a hundred pounds! He says it kills all the rats and--oh dear!' cried
+Alice in a sorrowful tone, `I'm afraid I've offended it again!' For the Mouse
+was swimming away from her as hard as it could go, and making quite a commotion
+in the pool as it went.
+So she called softly after it, `Mouse dear! Do come back again, and we won't
+talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't like them!' When the Mouse heard
+this, it turned round and swam slowly back to her: its face was quite pale
+(with passion, Alice thought), and it said in a low trembling voice, `Let us
+get to the shore, and then I'll tell you my history, and you'll understand why
+it is I hate cats and dogs.'
+It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded with the birds
+and animals that had fallen into it: there were a Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and
+an Eaglet, and several other curious creatures. Alice led the way, and the
+whole party swam to the shore.
+CHAPTER III - A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale
+They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the bank--the birds
+with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close to them, and
+all dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable.
+The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they had a consultation
+about this, and after a few minutes it seemed quite natural to Alice to find
+herself talking familiarly with them, as if she had known them all her life.
+Indeed, she had quite a long argument with the Lory, who at last turned sulky,
+and would only say, `I am older than you, and must know better'; and this Alice
+would not allow without knowing how old it was, and, as the Lory positively
+refused to tell its age, there was no more to be said.
+At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among them, called
+out, `Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL soon make you dry enough!'
+They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the Mouse in the middle. Alice
+kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad
+cold if she did not get dry very soon.
+`Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, `are you all ready? This is the
+driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! "William the Conqueror,
+whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted to by the English, who
+wanted leaders, and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and
+conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria--"'
+`Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver.
+`I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very politely: `Did you
+`Not I!' said the Lory hastily.
+`I thought you did,' said the Mouse. `--I proceed. "Edwin and Morcar, the earls
+of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him: and even Stigand, the patriotic
+archbishop of Canterbury, found it advisable--"'
+`Found WHAT?' said the Duck.
+`Found IT,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: `of course you know what "it"
+`I know what "it" means well enough, when I find a thing,' said the Duck: `it's
+generally a frog or a worm. The question is, what did the archbishop find?'
+The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on, `"--found it
+advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him the crown.
+William's conduct at first was moderate. But the insolence of his Normans--"
+How are you getting on now, my dear?' it continued, turning to Alice as it
+`As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: `it doesn't seem to dry me
+at all.'
+`In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, `I move that the
+meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more energetic remedies--'
+`Speak English!' said the Eaglet. `I don't know the meaning of half those long
+words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do either!' And the Eaglet bent
+down its head to hide a smile: some of the other birds tittered audibly.
+`What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone, `was, that the
+best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.'
+`What IS a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she wanted much to know, but the
+Dodo had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY ought to speak, and no one else
+seemed inclined to say anything.
+`Why,' said the Dodo, `the best way to explain it is to do it.' (And, as you
+might like to try the thing yourself, some winter day, I will tell you how the
+Dodo managed it.)
+First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, (`the exact shape
+doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the party were placed along the course,
+here and there. There was no `One, two, three, and away,' but they began
+running when they liked, and left off when they liked, so that it was not easy
+to know when the race was over. However, when they had been running half an
+hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called out `The race is
+over!' and they all crowded round it, panting, and asking, `But who has won?'
+This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of thought, and it
+sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon its forehead (the position in
+which you usually see Shakespeare, in the pictures of him), while the rest
+waited in silence. At last the Dodo said, `EVERYBODY has won, and all must have
+`But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices asked.
+`Why, SHE, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with one finger; and
+the whole party at once crowded round her, calling out in a confused way,
+`Prizes! Prizes!'
+Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand in her pocket,
+and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt water had not got into it),
+and handed them round as prizes. There was exactly one a-piece all round.
+`But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the Mouse.
+`Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely. `What else have you got in your
+pocket?' he went on, turning to Alice.
+`Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly.
+`Hand it over here,' said the Dodo.
+Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo solemnly presented
+the thimble, saying `We beg your acceptance of this elegant thimble'; and, when
+it had finished this short speech, they all cheered.
+Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked so grave that
+she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not think of anything to say, she
+simply bowed, and took the thimble, looking as solemn as she could.
+The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise and confusion, as
+the large birds complained that they could not taste theirs, and the small ones
+choked and had to be patted on the back. However, it was over at last, and they
+sat down again in a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell them something more.
+`You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said Alice, `and why it is
+you hate--C and D,' she added in a whisper, half afraid that it would be
+offended again.
+`Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning to Alice, and sighing.
+`It IS a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with wonder at the
+Mouse's tail; `but why do you call it sad?' And she kept on puzzling about it
+while the Mouse was speaking, so that her idea of the tale was something like
+ `Fury said to a
+ mouse, That he
+ met in the
+ house,
+ "Let us
+ both go to
+ law: I will
+ prosecute
+ YOU. --Come,
+ I'll take no
+ denial; We
+ must have a
+ trial: For
+ really this
+ morning I've
+ nothing
+ to do."
+ Said the
+ mouse to the
+ cur, "Such
+ a trial,
+ dear Sir,
+ With
+ no jury
+ or judge,
+ would be
+ wasting
+ our
+ breath."
+ "I'll be
+ judge, I'll
+ be jury,"
+ Said
+ cunning
+ old Fury:
+ "I'll
+ try the
+ whole
+ cause,
+ and
+ condemn
+ you
+ to
+ death."'
+`You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice severely. `What are you
+thinking of?'
+`I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: `you had got to the fifth bend, I
+`I had NOT!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily.
+`A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and looking
+anxiously about her. `Oh, do let me help to undo it!'
+`I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up and walking away.
+`You insult me by talking such nonsense!'
+`I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. `But you're so easily offended, you
+The Mouse only growled in reply.
+`Please come back and finish your story!' Alice called after it; and the others
+all joined in chorus, `Yes, please do!' but the Mouse only shook its head
+impatiently, and walked a little quicker.
+`What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as it was quite out of
+sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of saying to her daughter `Ah, my
+dear! Let this be a lesson to you never to lose YOUR temper!' `Hold your
+tongue, Ma!' said the young Crab, a little snappishly. `You're enough to try
+the patience of an oyster!'
+`I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud, addressing nobody
+in particular. `She'd soon fetch it back!'
+`And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?' said the Lory.
+Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about her pet: `Dinah's
+our cat. And she's such a capital one for catching mice you can't think! And
+oh, I wish you could see her after the birds! Why, she'll eat a little bird as
+soon as look at it!'
+This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party. Some of the birds
+hurried off at once: one old Magpie began wrapping itself up very carefully,
+remarking, `I really must be getting home; the night-air doesn't suit my
+throat!' and a Canary called out in a trembling voice to its children, `Come
+away, my dears! It's high time you were all in bed!' On various pretexts they
+all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone.
+`I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in a melancholy tone.
+`Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm sure she's the best cat in the
+world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I wonder if I shall ever see you any more!' And here
+poor Alice began to cry again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited. In a
+little while, however, she again heard a little pattering of footsteps in the
+distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hoping that the Mouse had changed his
+mind, and was coming back to finish his story.
+CHAPTER IV - The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill
+It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and looking anxiously
+about as it went, as if it had lost something; and she heard it muttering to
+itself `The Duchess! The Duchess! Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur and whiskers!
+She'll get me executed, as sure as ferrets are ferrets! Where CAN I have
+dropped them, I wonder?' Alice guessed in a moment that it was looking for the
+fan and the pair of white kid gloves, and she very good-naturedly began hunting
+about for them, but they were nowhere to be seen--everything seemed to have
+changed since her swim in the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table
+and the little door, had vanished completely.
+Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about, and called out
+to her in an angry tone, `Why, Mary Ann, what ARE you doing out here? Run home
+this moment, and fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan! Quick, now!' And Alice
+was so much frightened that she ran off at once in the direction it pointed to,
+without trying to explain the mistake it had made.
+`He took me for his housemaid,' she said to herself as she ran. `How surprised
+he'll be when he finds out who I am! But I'd better take him his fan and
+gloves--that is, if I can find them.' As she said this, she came upon a neat
+little house, on the door of which was a bright brass plate with the name `W.
+RABBIT' engraved upon it. She went in without knocking, and hurried upstairs,
+in great fear lest she should meet the real Mary Ann, and be turned out of the
+house before she had found the fan and gloves.
+`How queer it seems,' Alice said to herself, `to be going messages for a
+rabbit! I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on messages next!' And she began
+fancying the sort of thing that would happen: `"Miss Alice! Come here directly,
+and get ready for your walk!" "Coming in a minute, nurse! But I've got to see
+that the mouse doesn't get out." Only I don't think,' Alice went on, `that
+they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it began ordering people about like
+By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with a table in the
+window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two or three pairs of tiny white
+kid gloves: she took up the fan and a pair of the gloves, and was just going to
+leave the room, when her eye fell upon a little bottle that stood near the
+looking- glass. There was no label this time with the words `DRINK ME,' but
+nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to her lips. `I know SOMETHING
+interesting is sure to happen,' she said to herself, `whenever I eat or drink
+anything; so I'll just see what this bottle does. I do hope it'll make me grow
+large again, for really I'm quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!'
+It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected: before she had drunk
+half the bottle, she found her head pressing against the ceiling, and had to
+stoop to save her neck from being broken. She hastily put down the bottle,
+saying to herself `That's quite enough--I hope I shan't grow any more--As it
+is, I can't get out at the door--I do wish I hadn't drunk quite so much!'
+Alas! it was too late to wish that! She went on growing, and growing, and very
+soon had to kneel down on the floor: in another minute there was not even room
+for this, and she tried the effect of lying down with one elbow against the
+door, and the other arm curled round her head. Still she went on growing, and,
+as a last resource, she put one arm out of the window, and one foot up the
+chimney, and said to herself `Now I can do no more, whatever happens. What WILL
+become of me?'
+Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full effect, and she
+grew no larger: still it was very uncomfortable, and, as there seemed to be no
+sort of chance of her ever getting out of the room again, no wonder she felt
+`It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, `when one wasn't always
+growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and rabbits. I
+almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole--and yet--and yet--it's rather
+curious, you know, this sort of life! I do wonder what CAN have happened to me!
+When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of thing never happened,
+and now here I am in the middle of one! There ought to be a book written about
+me, that there ought! And when I grow up, I'll write one--but I'm grown up
+now,' she added in a sorrowful tone; `at least there's no room to grow up any
+more HERE.'
+`But then,' thought Alice, `shall I NEVER get any older than I am now? That'll
+be a comfort, one way--never to be an old woman-- but then--always to have
+lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn't like THAT!'
+`Oh, you foolish Alice!' she answered herself. `How can you learn lessons in
+here? Why, there's hardly room for YOU, and no room at all for any
+And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other, and making quite
+a conversation of it altogether; but after a few minutes she heard a voice
+outside, and stopped to listen.
+`Mary Ann! Mary Ann!' said the voice. `Fetch me my gloves this moment!' Then
+came a little pattering of feet on the stairs. Alice knew it was the Rabbit
+coming to look for her, and she trembled till she shook the house, quite
+forgetting that she was now about a thousand times as large as the Rabbit, and
+had no reason to be afraid of it.
+Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it; but, as the
+door opened inwards, and Alice's elbow was pressed hard against it, that
+attempt proved a failure. Alice heard it say to itself `Then I'll go round and
+get in at the window.'
+`THAT you won't' thought Alice, and, after waiting till she fancied she heard
+the Rabbit just under the window, she suddenly spread out her hand, and made a
+snatch in the air. She did not get hold of anything, but she heard a little
+shriek and a fall, and a crash of broken glass, from which she concluded that
+it was just possible it had fallen into a cucumber-frame, or something of the
+Next came an angry voice--the Rabbit's--`Pat! Pat! Where are you?' And then a
+voice she had never heard before, `Sure then I'm here! Digging for apples, yer
+`Digging for apples, indeed!' said the Rabbit angrily. `Here! Come and help me
+out of THIS!' (Sounds of more broken glass.)
+`Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?'
+`Sure, it's an arm, yer honour!' (He pronounced it `arrum.')
+`An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it fills the whole
+`Sure, it does, yer honour: but it's an arm for all that.'
+`Well, it's got no business there, at any rate: go and take it away!'
+There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear whispers now and
+then; such as, `Sure, I don't like it, yer honour, at all, at all!' `Do as I
+tell you, you coward!' and at last she spread out her hand again, and made
+another snatch in the air. This time there were TWO little shrieks, and more
+sounds of broken glass. `What a number of cucumber-frames there must be!'
+thought Alice. `I wonder what they'll do next! As for pulling me out of the
+window, I only wish they COULD! I'm sure I don't want to stay in here any
+She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at last came a rumbling
+of little cartwheels, and the sound of a good many voices all talking together:
+she made out the words: `Where's the other ladder?--Why, I hadn't to bring but
+one; Bill's got the other--Bill! fetch it here, lad!--Here, put 'em up at this
+corner--No, tie 'em together first--they don't reach half high enough yet--Oh!
+they'll do well enough; don't be particular-- Here, Bill! catch hold of this
+rope--Will the roof bear?--Mind that loose slate--Oh, it's coming down! Heads
+below!' (a loud crash)--`Now, who did that?--It was Bill, I fancy--Who's to go
+down the chimney?--Nay, I shan't! YOU do it!--That I won't, then!--Bill's to go
+down--Here, Bill! the master says you're to go down the chimney!'
+`Oh! So Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' said Alice to herself.
+`Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill! I wouldn't be in Bill's place for
+a good deal: this fireplace is narrow, to be sure; but I THINK I can kick a
+She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and waited till she
+heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of what sort it was) scratching and
+scrambling about in the chimney close above her: then, saying to herself `This
+is Bill,' she gave one sharp kick, and waited to see what would happen next.
+The first thing she heard was a general chorus of `There goes Bill!' then the
+Rabbit's voice along--`Catch him, you by the hedge!' then silence, and then
+another confusion of voices--`Hold up his head--Brandy now--Don't choke
+him--How was it, old fellow? What happened to you? Tell us all about it!'
+Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, (`That's Bill,' thought Alice,)
+`Well, I hardly know--No more, thank ye; I'm better now--but I'm a deal too
+flustered to tell you--all I know is, something comes at me like a
+Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes like a sky-rocket!'
+`So you did, old fellow!' said the others.
+`We must burn the house down!' said the Rabbit's voice; and Alice called out as
+loud as she could, `If you do. I'll set Dinah at you!'
+There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to herself, `I wonder
+what they WILL do next! If they had any sense, they'd take the roof off.' After
+a minute or two, they began moving about again, and Alice heard the Rabbit say,
+`A barrowful will do, to begin with.'
+`A barrowful of WHAT?' thought Alice; but she had not long to doubt, for the
+next moment a shower of little pebbles came rattling in at the window, and some
+of them hit her in the face. `I'll put a stop to this,' she said to herself,
+and shouted out, `You'd better not do that again!' which produced another dead
+Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all turning into little
+cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright idea came into her head. `If I eat
+one of these cakes,' she thought, `it's sure to make SOME change in my size;
+and as it can't possibly make me larger, it must make me smaller, I suppose.'
+So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find that she began
+shrinking directly. As soon as she was small enough to get through the door,
+she ran out of the house, and found quite a crowd of little animals and birds
+waiting outside. The poor little Lizard, Bill, was in the middle, being held up
+by two guinea-pigs, who were giving it something out of a bottle. They all made
+a rush at Alice the moment she appeared; but she ran off as hard as she could,
+and soon found herself safe in a thick wood.
+`The first thing I've got to do,' said Alice to herself, as she wandered about
+in the wood, `is to grow to my right size again; and the second thing is to
+find my way into that lovely garden. I think that will be the best plan.'
+It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and simply arranged;
+the only difficulty was, that she had not the smallest idea how to set about
+it; and while she was peering about anxiously among the trees, a little sharp
+bark just over her head made her look up in a great hurry.
+An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round eyes, and feebly
+stretching out one paw, trying to touch her. `Poor little thing!' said Alice,
+in a coaxing tone, and she tried hard to whistle to it; but she was terribly
+frightened all the time at the thought that it might be hungry, in which case
+it would be very likely to eat her up in spite of all her coaxing.
+Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of stick, and held it
+out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped into the air off all its feet at
+once, with a yelp of delight, and rushed at the stick, and made believe to
+worry it; then Alice dodged behind a great thistle, to keep herself from being
+run over; and the moment she appeared on the other side, the puppy made another
+rush at the stick, and tumbled head over heels in its hurry to get hold of it;
+then Alice, thinking it was very like having a game of play with a cart-horse,
+and expecting every moment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle
+again; then the puppy began a series of short charges at the stick, running a
+very little way forwards each time and a long way back, and barking hoarsely
+all the while, till at last it sat down a good way off, panting, with its
+tongue hanging out of its mouth, and its great eyes half shut.
+This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape; so she set off
+at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out of breath, and till the
+puppy's bark sounded quite faint in the distance.
+`And yet what a dear little puppy it was!' said Alice, as she leant against a
+buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself with one of the leaves: `I should
+have liked teaching it tricks very much, if--if I'd only been the right size to
+do it! Oh dear! I'd nearly forgotten that I've got to grow up again! Let me
+see--how IS it to be managed? I suppose I ought to eat or drink something or
+other; but the great question is, what?'
+The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round her at the
+flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not see anything that looked like
+the right thing to eat or drink under the circumstances. There was a large
+mushroom growing near her, about the same height as herself; and when she had
+looked under it, and on both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to her
+that she might as well look and see what was on the top of it.
+She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of the mushroom,
+and her eyes immediately met those of a large caterpillar, that was sitting on
+the top with its arms folded, quietly smoking a long hookah, and taking not the
+smallest notice of her or of anything else.
+CHAPTER V - Advice from a Caterpillar
+The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence: at
+last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her in a
+languid, sleepy voice.
+`Who are YOU?' said the Caterpillar.
+This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather
+shyly, `I--I hardly know, sir, just at present-- at least I know who I WAS when
+I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since
+`What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly. `Explain yourself!'
+`I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, `because I'm not myself,
+you see.'
+`I don't see,' said the Caterpillar.
+`I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very politely, `for I
+can't understand it myself to begin with; and being so many different sizes in
+a day is very confusing.'
+`It isn't,' said the Caterpillar.
+`Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; `but when you have to
+turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you know--and then after that into a
+butterfly, I should think you'll feel it a little queer, won't you?'
+`Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar.
+`Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice; `all I know is, it
+would feel very queer to ME.'
+`You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously. `Who are YOU?'
+Which brought them back again to the beginning of the conversation. Alice felt
+a little irritated at the Caterpillar's making such VERY short remarks, and she
+drew herself up and said, very gravely, `I think, you ought to tell me who YOU
+are, first.'
+`Why?' said the Caterpillar.
+Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not think of any good
+reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a VERY unpleasant state of mind,
+she turned away.
+`Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her. `I've something important to
+This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back again.
+`Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar.
+`Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as she could.
+`No,' said the Caterpillar.
+Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else to do, and
+perhaps after all it might tell her something worth hearing. For some minutes
+it puffed away without speaking, but at last it unfolded its arms, took the
+hookah out of its mouth again, and said, `So you think you're changed, do you?'
+`I'm afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; `I can't remember things as I used--and I
+don't keep the same size for ten minutes together!'
+`Can't remember WHAT things?' said the Caterpillar.
+`Well, I've tried to say "HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE," but it all came
+different!' Alice replied in a very melancholy voice.
+`Repeat, "YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,"' said the Caterpillar.
+Alice folded her hands, and began:--
+ `You are old, Father William,' the young man said,
+ `And your hair has become very white;
+ And yet you incessantly stand on your head--
+ Do you think, at your age, it is right?'
+ `In my youth,' Father William replied to his son,
+ `I feared it might injure the brain;
+ But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
+ Why, I do it again and again.'
+ `You are old,' said the youth, `as I mentioned before,
+ And have grown most uncommonly fat;
+ Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door--
+ Pray, what is the reason of that?'
+ `In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
+ `I kept all my limbs very supple
+ By the use of this ointment--one shilling the box--
+ Allow me to sell you a couple?'
+ `You are old,' said the youth, `and your jaws are too weak
+ For anything tougher than suet;
+ Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak--
+ Pray how did you manage to do it?'
+ `In my youth,' said his father, `I took to the law,
+ And argued each case with my wife;
+ And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
+ Has lasted the rest of my life.'
+ `You are old,' said the youth, `one would hardly suppose
+ That your eye was as steady as ever;
+ Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose--
+ What made you so awfully clever?'
+ `I have answered three questions, and that is enough,'
+ Said his father; `don't give yourself airs!
+ Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
+ Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!'
+`That is not said right,' said the Caterpillar.
+`Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; `some of the words have got
+`It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar decidedly, and there
+was silence for some minutes.
+The Caterpillar was the first to speak.
+`What size do you want to be?' it asked.
+`Oh, I'm not particular as to size,' Alice hastily replied; `only one doesn't
+like changing so often, you know.'
+`I DON'T know,' said the Caterpillar.
+Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in her life before,
+and she felt that she was losing her temper.
+`Are you content now?' said the Caterpillar.
+`Well, I should like to be a LITTLE larger, sir, if you wouldn't mind,' said
+Alice: `three inches is such a wretched height to be.'
+`It is a very good height indeed!' said the Caterpillar angrily, rearing itself
+upright as it spoke (it was exactly three inches high).
+`But I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone. And she thought
+of herself, `I wish the creatures wouldn't be so easily offended!'
+`You'll get used to it in time,' said the Caterpillar; and it put the hookah
+into its mouth and began smoking again.
+This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. In a minute or
+two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and yawned once or twice,
+and shook itself. Then it got down off the mushroom, and crawled away in the
+grass, merely remarking as it went, `One side will make you grow taller, and
+the other side will make you grow shorter.'
+`One side of WHAT? The other side of WHAT?' thought Alice to herself.
+`Of the mushroom,' said the Caterpillar, just as if she had asked it aloud; and
+in another moment it was out of sight.
+Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute, trying to
+make out which were the two sides of it; and as it was perfectly round, she
+found this a very difficult question. However, at last she stretched her arms
+round it as far as they would go, and broke off a bit of the edge with each
+`And now which is which?' she said to herself, and nibbled a little of the
+right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment she felt a violent blow
+underneath her chin: it had struck her foot!
+She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but she felt that
+there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly; so she set to work
+at once to eat some of the other bit. Her chin was pressed so closely against
+her foot, that there was hardly room to open her mouth; but she did it at last,
+and managed to swallow a morsel of the lefthand bit.
+* * * * ~#
+ * * * ~#
+* * * * ~#
+`Come, my head's free at last!' said Alice in a tone of delight, which changed
+into alarm in another moment, when she found that her shoulders were nowhere to
+be found: all she could see, when she looked down, was an immense length of
+neck, which seemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that lay
+far below her.
+`What CAN all that green stuff be?' said Alice. `And where HAVE my shoulders
+got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I can't see you?' She was moving them
+about as she spoke, but no result seemed to follow, except a little shaking
+among the distant green leaves.
+As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her head, she tried
+to get her head down to them, and was delighted to find that her neck would
+bend about easily in any direction, like a serpent. She had just succeeded in
+curving it down into a graceful zigzag, and was going to dive in among the
+leaves, which she found to be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she
+had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made her draw back in a hurry: a large
+pigeon had flown into her face, and was beating her violently with its wings.
+`Serpent!' screamed the Pigeon.
+`I'm NOT a serpent!' said Alice indignantly. `Let me alone!'
+`Serpent, I say again!' repeated the Pigeon, but in a more subdued tone, and
+added with a kind of sob, `I've tried every way, and nothing seems to suit
+`I haven't the least idea what you're talking about,' said Alice.
+`I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've tried hedges,'
+the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; `but those serpents! There's no
+pleasing them!'
+Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no use in saying
+anything more till the Pigeon had finished.
+`As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,' said the Pigeon; `but I
+must be on the look-out for serpents night and day! Why, I haven't had a wink
+of sleep these three weeks!'
+`I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,' said Alice, who was beginning to see its
+`And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,' continued the Pigeon,
+raising its voice to a shriek, `and just as I was thinking I should be free of
+them at last, they must needs come wriggling down from the sky! Ugh, Serpent!'
+`But I'm NOT a serpent, I tell you!' said Alice. `I'm a--I'm a--'
+`Well! WHAT are you?' said the Pigeon. `I can see you're trying to invent
+`I--I'm a little girl,' said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she remembered the
+number of changes she had gone through that day.
+`A likely story indeed!' said the Pigeon in a tone of the deepest contempt.
+`I've seen a good many little girls in my time, but never ONE with such a neck
+as that! No, no! You're a serpent; and there's no use denying it. I suppose
+you'll be telling me next that you never tasted an egg!'
+`I HAVE tasted eggs, certainly,' said Alice, who was a very truthful child;
+`but little girls eat eggs quite as much as serpents do, you know.'
+`I don't believe it,' said the Pigeon; `but if they do, why then they're a kind
+of serpent, that's all I can say.'
+This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent for a minute or
+two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of adding, `You're looking for eggs,
+I know THAT well enough; and what does it matter to me whether you're a little
+girl or a serpent?'
+`It matters a good deal to ME,' said Alice hastily; `but I'm not looking for
+eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I shouldn't want YOURS: I don't like them
+`Well, be off, then!' said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it settled down again
+into its nest. Alice crouched down among the trees as well as she could, for
+her neck kept getting entangled among the branches, and every now and then she
+had to stop and untwist it. After a while she remembered that she still held
+the pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set to work very carefully,
+nibbling first at one and then at the other, and growing sometimes taller and
+sometimes shorter, until she had succeeded in bringing herself down to her
+usual height.
+It was so long since she had been anything near the right size, that it felt
+quite strange at first; but she got used to it in a few minutes, and began
+talking to herself, as usual. `Come, there's half my plan done now! How
+puzzling all these changes are! I'm never sure what I'm going to be, from one
+minute to another! However, I've got back to my right size: the next thing is,
+to get into that beautiful garden--how IS that to be done, I wonder?' As she
+said this, she came suddenly upon an open place, with a little house in it
+about four feet high. `Whoever lives there,' thought Alice, `it'll never do to
+come upon them THIS size: why, I should frighten them out of their wits!' So
+she began nibbling at the righthand bit again, and did not venture to go near
+the house till she had brought herself down to nine inches high.
+CHAPTER VI - Pig and Pepper
+For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and wondering what to do
+next, when suddenly a footman in livery came running out of the wood--(she
+considered him to be a footman because he was in livery: otherwise, judging by
+his face only, she would have called him a fish)--and rapped loudly at the door
+with his knuckles. It was opened by another footman in livery, with a round
+face, and large eyes like a frog; and both footmen, Alice noticed, had powdered
+hair that curled all over their heads. She felt very curious to know what it
+was all about, and crept a little way out of the wood to listen.
+The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great letter, nearly
+as large as himself, and this he handed over to the other, saying, in a solemn
+tone, `For the Duchess. An invitation from the Queen to play croquet.' The
+Frog-Footman repeated, in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of the
+words a little, `From the Queen. An invitation for the Duchess to play
+Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled together.
+Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back into the wood for fear
+of their hearing her; and when she next peeped out the Fish-Footman was gone,
+and the other was sitting on the ground near the door, staring stupidly up into
+the sky.
+Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked.
+`There's no sort of use in knocking,' said the Footman, `and that for two
+reasons. First, because I'm on the same side of the door as you are; secondly,
+because they're making such a noise inside, no one could possibly hear you.'
+And certainly there was a most extraordinary noise going on within--a constant
+howling and sneezing, and every now and then a great crash, as if a dish or
+kettle had been broken to pieces.
+`Please, then,' said Alice, `how am I to get in?'
+`There might be some sense in your knocking,' the Footman went on without
+attending to her, `if we had the door between us. For instance, if you were
+INSIDE, you might knock, and I could let you out, you know.' He was looking up
+into the sky all the time he was speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly
+uncivil. `But perhaps he can't help it,' she said to herself; `his eyes are so
+VERY nearly at the top of his head. But at any rate he might answer
+questions.--How am I to get in?' she repeated, aloud.
+`I shall sit here,' the Footman remarked, `till tomorrow--'
+At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate came skimming
+out, straight at the Footman's head: it just grazed his nose, and broke to
+pieces against one of the trees behind him.
+`--or next day, maybe,' the Footman continued in the same tone, exactly as if
+nothing had happened.
+`How am I to get in?' asked Alice again, in a louder tone.
+`ARE you to get in at all?' said the Footman. `That's the first question, you
+It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told so. `It's really
+dreadful,' she muttered to herself, `the way all the creatures argue. It's
+enough to drive one crazy!'
+The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for repeating his remark,
+with variations. `I shall sit here,' he said, `on and off, for days and days.'
+`But what am I to do?' said Alice.
+`Anything you like,' said the Footman, and began whistling.
+`Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice desperately: `he's perfectly
+idiotic!' And she opened the door and went in.
+The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of smoke from one end
+to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a three-legged stool in the middle,
+nursing a baby; the cook was leaning over the fire, stirring a large cauldron
+which seemed to be full of soup.
+`There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said to herself, as
+well as she could for sneezing.
+There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the Duchess sneezed
+occasionally; and as for the baby, it was sneezing and howling alternately
+without a moment's pause. The only things in the kitchen that did not sneeze,
+were the cook, and a large cat which was sitting on the hearth and grinning
+from ear to ear.
+`Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for she was not quite
+sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, `why your cat grins
+like that?'
+`It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, `and that's why. Pig!'
+She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite jumped; but
+she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby, and not to her, so
+she took courage, and went on again:--
+`I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't know that
+cats COULD grin.'
+`They all can,' said the Duchess; `and most of 'em do.'
+`I don't know of any that do,' Alice said very politely, feeling quite pleased
+to have got into a conversation.
+`You don't know much,' said the Duchess; `and that's a fact.'
+Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought it would be as
+well to introduce some other subject of conversation. While she was trying to
+fix on one, the cook took the cauldron of soup off the fire, and at once set to
+work throwing everything within her reach at the Duchess and the baby --the
+fire-irons came first; then followed a shower of saucepans, plates, and dishes.
+The Duchess took no notice of them even when they hit her; and the baby was
+howling so much already, that it was quite impossible to say whether the blows
+hurt it or not.
+`Oh, PLEASE mind what you're doing!' cried Alice, jumping up and down in an
+agony of terror. `Oh, there goes his PRECIOUS nose'; as an unusually large
+saucepan flew close by it, and very nearly carried it off.
+`If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said in a hoarse growl,
+`the world would go round a deal faster than it does.'
+`Which would NOT be an advantage,' said Alice, who felt very glad to get an
+opportunity of showing off a little of her knowledge. `Just think of what work
+it would make with the day and night! You see the earth takes twenty-four hours
+to turn round on its axis--'
+`Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, `chop off her head!'
+Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant to take the
+hint; but the cook was busily stirring the soup, and seemed not to be
+listening, so she went on again: `Twenty-four hours, I THINK; or is it twelve?
+`Oh, don't bother ME,' said the Duchess; `I never could abide figures!' And
+with that she began nursing her child again, singing a sort of lullaby to it as
+she did so, and giving it a violent shake at the end of every line:
+ `Speak roughly to your little boy,
+ And beat him when he sneezes:
+ He only does it to annoy,
+ Because he knows it teases.'
+ (In which the cook and the baby joined):--
+ `Wow! wow! wow!'
+While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept tossing the baby
+violently up and down, and the poor little thing howled so, that Alice could
+hardly hear the words:--
+ `I speak severely to my boy,
+ I beat him when he sneezes;
+ For he can thoroughly enjoy
+ The pepper when he pleases!'
+ `Wow! wow! wow!'
+`Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!' the Duchess said to Alice,
+flinging the baby at her as she spoke. `I must go and get ready to play croquet
+with the Queen,' and she hurried out of the room. The cook threw a frying-pan
+after her as she went out, but it just missed her.
+Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer-shaped little
+creature, and held out its arms and legs in all directions, `just like a
+star-fish,' thought Alice. The poor little thing was snorting like a
+steam-engine when she caught it, and kept doubling itself up and straightening
+itself out again, so that altogether, for the first minute or two, it was as
+much as she could do to hold it.
+As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it, (which was to twist
+it up into a sort of knot, and then keep tight hold of its right ear and left
+foot, so as to prevent its undoing itself,) she carried it out into the open
+air. `IF I don't take this child away with me,' thought Alice, `they're sure to
+kill it in a day or two: wouldn't it be murder to leave it behind?' She said
+the last words out loud, and the little thing grunted in reply (it had left off
+sneezing by this time). `Don't grunt,' said Alice; `that's not at all a proper
+way of expressing yourself.'
+The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into its face to see
+what was the matter with it. There could be no doubt that it had a VERY turn-up
+nose, much more like a snout than a real nose; also its eyes were getting
+extremely small for a baby: altogether Alice did not like the look of the thing
+at all. `But perhaps it was only sobbing,' she thought, and looked into its
+eyes again, to see if there were any tears.
+No, there were no tears. `If you're going to turn into a pig, my dear,' said
+Alice, seriously, `I'll have nothing more to do with you. Mind now!' The poor
+little thing sobbed again (or grunted, it was impossible to say which), and
+they went on for some while in silence.
+Alice was just beginning to think to herself, `Now, what am I to do with this
+creature when I get it home?' when it grunted again, so violently, that she
+looked down into its face in some alarm. This time there could be NO mistake
+about it: it was neither more nor less than a pig, and she felt that it would
+be quite absurd for her to carry it further.
+So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to see it trot
+away quietly into the wood. `If it had grown up,' she said to herself, `it
+would have made a dreadfully ugly child: but it makes rather a handsome pig, I
+think.' And she began thinking over other children she knew, who might do very
+well as pigs, and was just saying to herself, `if one only knew the right way
+to change them--' when she was a little startled by seeing the Cheshire Cat
+sitting on a bough of a tree a few yards off.
+The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good- natured, she thought:
+still it had VERY long claws and a great many teeth, so she felt that it ought
+to be treated with respect.
+`Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at all know whether
+it would like the name: however, it only grinned a little wider. `Come, it's
+pleased so far,' thought Alice, and she went on. `Would you tell me, please,
+which way I ought to go from here?'
+`That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat.
+`I don't much care where--' said Alice.
+`Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.
+`--so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation.
+`Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, `if you only walk long enough.'
+Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another question. `What
+sort of people live about here?'
+`In THAT direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round, `lives a Hatter:
+and in THAT direction,' waving the other paw, `lives a March Hare. Visit either
+you like: they're both mad.'
+`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
+`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're
+`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
+`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
+Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on `And how do you
+know that you're mad?'
+`To begin with,' said the Cat, `a dog's not mad. You grant that?'
+`I suppose so,' said Alice.
+`Well, then,' the Cat went on, `you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags
+its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when
+I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.'
+`I call it purring, not growling,' said Alice.
+`Call it what you like,' said the Cat. `Do you play croquet with the Queen
+`I should like it very much,' said Alice, `but I haven't been invited yet.'
+`You'll see me there,' said the Cat, and vanished.
+Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so used to queer things
+happening. While she was looking at the place where it had been, it suddenly
+appeared again.
+`By-the-bye, what became of the baby?' said the Cat. `I'd nearly forgotten to
+`It turned into a pig,' Alice quietly said, just as if it had come back in a
+natural way.
+`I thought it would,' said the Cat, and vanished again.
+Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it did not appear,
+and after a minute or two she walked on in the direction in which the March
+Hare was said to live. `I've seen hatters before,' she said to herself; `the
+March Hare will be much the most interesting, and perhaps as this is May it
+won't be raving mad--at least not so mad as it was in March.' As she said this,
+she looked up, and there was the Cat again, sitting on a branch of a tree.
+`Did you say pig, or fig?' said the Cat.
+`I said pig,' replied Alice; `and I wish you wouldn't keep appearing and
+vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite giddy.'
+`All right,' said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly, beginning
+with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which remained some time
+after the rest of it had gone.
+`Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin,' thought Alice; `but a grin
+without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!'
+She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the house of the
+March Hare: she thought it must be the right house, because the chimneys were
+shaped like ears and the roof was thatched with fur. It was so large a house,
+that she did not like to go nearer till she had nibbled some more of the
+lefthand bit of mushroom, and raised herself to about two feet high: even then
+she walked up towards it rather timidly, saying to herself `Suppose it should
+be raving mad after all! I almost wish I'd gone to see the Hatter instead!'
+CHAPTER VII - A Mad Tea-Party
+There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, and the March
+Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a Dormouse was sitting between them,
+fast asleep, and the other two were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows
+on it, and talking over its head. `Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,'
+thought Alice; `only, as it's asleep, I suppose it doesn't mind.'
+The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at one
+corner of it: `No room! No room!' they cried out when they saw Alice coming.
+`There's PLENTY of room!' said Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large
+arm-chair at one end of the table.
+`Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an encouraging tone.
+Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but tea. `I don't
+see any wine,' she remarked.
+`There isn't any,' said the March Hare.
+`Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it,' said Alice angrily.
+`It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being invited,' said the March
+`I didn't know it was YOUR table,' said Alice; `it's laid for a great many more
+than three.'
+`Your hair wants cutting,' said the Hatter. He had been looking at Alice for
+some time with great curiosity, and this was his first speech.
+`You should learn not to make personal remarks,' Alice said with some severity;
+`it's very rude.'
+The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he SAID was, `Why
+is a raven like a writing-desk?'
+`Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought Alice. `I'm glad they've begun
+asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that,' she added aloud.
+`Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?' said the March
+`Exactly so,' said Alice.
+`Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went on.
+`I do,' Alice hastily replied; `at least--at least I mean what I say--that's
+the same thing, you know.'
+`Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter. `You might just as well say that
+"I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat what I see"!'
+`You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, `that "I like what I get"
+is the same thing as "I get what I like"!'
+`You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed to be talking in
+his sleep, `that "I breathe when I sleep" is the same thing as "I sleep when I
+`It IS the same thing with you,' said the Hatter, and here the conversation
+dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, while Alice thought over all
+she could remember about ravens and writing-desks, which wasn't much.
+The Hatter was the first to break the silence. `What day of the month is it?'
+he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his watch out of his pocket, and was
+looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then, and holding it to his
+Alice considered a little, and then said `The fourth.'
+`Two days wrong!' sighed the Hatter. `I told you butter wouldn't suit the
+works!' he added looking angrily at the March Hare.
+`It was the BEST butter,' the March Hare meekly replied.
+`Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,' the Hatter grumbled: `you
+shouldn't have put it in with the bread-knife.'
+The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then he dipped it into
+his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he could think of nothing better to
+say than his first remark, `It was the BEST butter, you know.'
+Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. `What a funny
+watch!' she remarked. `It tells the day of the month, and doesn't tell what
+o'clock it is!'
+`Why should it?' muttered the Hatter. `Does YOUR watch tell you what year it
+`Of course not,' Alice replied very readily: `but that's because it stays the
+same year for such a long time together.'
+`Which is just the case with MINE,' said the Hatter.
+Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to have no sort of
+meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English. `I don't quite understand
+you,' she said, as politely as she could.
+`The Dormouse is asleep again,' said the Hatter, and he poured a little hot tea
+upon its nose.
+The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without opening its eyes,
+`Of course, of course; just what I was going to remark myself.'
+`Have you guessed the riddle yet?' the Hatter said, turning to Alice again.
+`No, I give it up,' Alice replied: `what's the answer?'
+`I haven't the slightest idea,' said the Hatter.
+`Nor I,' said the March Hare.
+Alice sighed wearily. `I think you might do something better with the time,'
+she said, `than waste it in asking riddles that have no answers.'
+`If you knew Time as well as I do,' said the Hatter, `you wouldn't talk about
+wasting IT. It's HIM.'
+`I don't know what you mean,' said Alice.
+`Of course you don't!' the Hatter said, tossing his head contemptuously. `I
+dare say you never even spoke to Time!'
+`Perhaps not,' Alice cautiously replied: `but I know I have to beat time when I
+learn music.'
+`Ah! that accounts for it,' said the Hatter. `He won't stand beating. Now, if
+you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do almost anything you liked with
+the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine o'clock in the morning, just time
+to begin lessons: you'd only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the
+clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!'
+(`I only wish it was,' the March Hare said to itself in a whisper.)
+`That would be grand, certainly,' said Alice thoughtfully: `but then--I
+shouldn't be hungry for it, you know.'
+`Not at first, perhaps,' said the Hatter: `but you could keep it to half-past
+one as long as you liked.'
+`Is that the way YOU manage?' Alice asked.
+The Hatter shook his head mournfully. `Not I!' he replied. `We quarrelled last
+March--just before HE went mad, you know--' (pointing with his tea spoon at the
+March Hare,) `--it was at the great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I
+had to sing
+ "Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
+ How I wonder what you're at!"
+You know the song, perhaps?'
+`I've heard something like it,' said Alice.
+`It goes on, you know,' the Hatter continued, `in this way:--
+ "Up above the world you fly,
+ Like a tea-tray in the sky.
+ Twinkle, twinkle--"'
+Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep `Twinkle,
+twinkle, twinkle, twinkle--' and went on so long that they had to pinch it to
+make it stop.
+`Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,' said the Hatter, `when the Queen
+jumped up and bawled out, "He's murdering the time! Off with his head!"'
+`How dreadfully savage!' exclaimed Alice.
+`And ever since that,' the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, `he won't do a
+thing I ask! It's always six o'clock now.'
+A bright idea came into Alice's head. `Is that the reason so many tea-things
+are put out here?' she asked.
+`Yes, that's it,' said the Hatter with a sigh: `it's always tea-time, and we've
+no time to wash the things between whiles.'
+`Then you keep moving round, I suppose?' said Alice.
+`Exactly so,' said the Hatter: `as the things get used up.'
+`But what happens when you come to the beginning again?' Alice ventured to ask.
+`Suppose we change the subject,' the March Hare interrupted, yawning. `I'm
+getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story.'
+`I'm afraid I don't know one,' said Alice, rather alarmed at the proposal.
+`Then the Dormouse shall!' they both cried. `Wake up, Dormouse!' And they
+pinched it on both sides at once.
+The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. `I wasn't asleep,' he said in a hoarse,
+feeble voice: `I heard every word you fellows were saying.'
+`Tell us a story!' said the March Hare.
+`Yes, please do!' pleaded Alice.
+`And be quick about it,' added the Hatter, `or you'll be asleep again before
+it's done.'
+`Once upon a time there were three little sisters,' the Dormouse began in a
+great hurry; `and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at
+the bottom of a well--'
+`What did they live on?' said Alice, who always took a great interest in
+questions of eating and drinking.
+`They lived on treacle,' said the Dormouse, after thinking a minute or two.
+`They couldn't have done that, you know,' Alice gently remarked; `they'd have
+been ill.'
+`So they were,' said the Dormouse; `VERY ill.'
+Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways of living would
+be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went on: `But why did they live at
+the bottom of a well?'
+`Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly.
+`I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an offended tone, `so I can't take
+`You mean you can't take LESS,' said the Hatter: `it's very easy to take MORE
+than nothing.'
+`Nobody asked YOUR opinion,' said Alice.
+`Who's making personal remarks now?' the Hatter asked triumphantly.
+Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped herself to some tea
+and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the Dormouse, and repeated her
+question. `Why did they live at the bottom of a well?'
+The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and then said, `It
+was a treacle-well.'
+`There's no such thing!' Alice was beginning very angrily, but the Hatter and
+the March Hare went `Sh! sh!' and the Dormouse sulkily remarked, `If you can't
+be civil, you'd better finish the story for yourself.'
+`No, please go on!' Alice said very humbly; `I won't interrupt again. I dare
+say there may be ONE.'
+`One, indeed!' said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he consented to go on.
+`And so these three little sisters--they were learning to draw, you know--'
+`What did they draw?' said Alice, quite forgetting her promise.
+`Treacle,' said the Dormouse, without considering at all this time.
+`I want a clean cup,' interrupted the Hatter: `let's all move one place on.'
+He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the March Hare moved
+into the Dormouse's place, and Alice rather unwillingly took the place of the
+March Hare. The Hatter was the only one who got any advantage from the change:
+and Alice was a good deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just
+upset the milk-jug into his plate.
+Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very cautiously:
+`But I don't understand. Where did they draw the treacle from?'
+`You can draw water out of a water-well,' said the Hatter; `so I should think
+you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh, stupid?'
+`But they were IN the well,' Alice said to the Dormouse, not choosing to notice
+this last remark.
+`Of course they were', said the Dormouse; `--well in.'
+This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse go on for some
+time without interrupting it.
+`They were learning to draw,' the Dormouse went on, yawning and rubbing its
+eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; `and they drew all manner of
+things--everything that begins with an M--'
+`Why with an M?' said Alice.
+`Why not?' said the March Hare.
+Alice was silent.
+The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going off into a doze;
+but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up again with a little shriek, and
+went on: `--that begins with an M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and
+memory, and muchness-- you know you say things are "much of a muchness"--did
+you ever see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?'
+`Really, now you ask me,' said Alice, very much confused, `I don't think--'
+`Then you shouldn't talk,' said the Hatter.
+This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got up in great
+disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and neither of the
+others took the least notice of her going, though she looked back once or
+twice, half hoping that they would call after her: the last time she saw them,
+they were trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot.
+`At any rate I'll never go THERE again!' said Alice as she picked her way
+through the wood. `It's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all my life!'
+Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door leading
+right into it. `That's very curious!' she thought. `But everything's curious
+today. I think I may as well go in at once.' And in she went.
+Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the little glass
+table. `Now, I'll manage better this time,' she said to herself, and began by
+taking the little golden key, and unlocking the door that led into the garden.
+Then she went to work nibbling at the mushroom (she had kept a piece of it in
+her pocket) till she was about a foot high: then she walked down the little
+passage: and THEN--she found herself at last in the beautiful garden, among the
+bright flower-beds and the cool fountains.
+CHAPTER VIII - The Queen's Croquet-Ground
+A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the roses growing on
+it were white, but there were three gardeners at it, busily painting them red.
+Alice thought this a very curious thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and
+just as she came up to them she heard one of them say, `Look out now, Five!
+Don't go splashing paint over me like that!'
+`I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; `Seven jogged my elbow.'
+On which Seven looked up and said, `That's right, Five! Always lay the blame on
+`YOU'D better not talk!' said Five. `I heard the Queen say only yesterday you
+deserved to be beheaded!'
+`What for?' said the one who had spoken first.
+`That's none of YOUR business, Two!' said Seven.
+`Yes, it IS his business!' said Five, `and I'll tell him--it was for bringing
+the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.'
+Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun `Well, of all the unjust
+things--' when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stood watching them,
+and he checked himself suddenly: the others looked round also, and all of them
+bowed low.
+`Would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, `why you are painting those
+Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a low voice, `Why
+the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to have been a RED rose-tree, and
+we put a white one in by mistake; and if the Queen was to find it out, we
+should all have our heads cut off, you know. So you see, Miss, we're doing our
+best, afore she comes, to--' At this moment Five, who had been anxiously
+looking across the garden, called out `The Queen! The Queen!' and the three
+gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon their faces. There was a sound
+of many footsteps, and Alice looked round, eager to see the Queen.
+First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped like the three
+gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and feet at the corners: next the
+ten courtiers; these were ornamented all over with diamonds, and walked two and
+two, as the soldiers did. After these came the royal children; there were ten
+of them, and the little dears came jumping merrily along hand in hand, in
+couples: they were all ornamented with hearts. Next came the guests, mostly
+Kings and Queens, and among them Alice recognised the White Rabbit: it was
+talking in a hurried nervous manner, smiling at everything that was said, and
+went by without noticing her. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the
+King's crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this grand
+procession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS.
+Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on her face like
+the three gardeners, but she could not remember ever having heard of such a
+rule at processions; `and besides, what would be the use of a procession,'
+thought she, `if people had all to lie down upon their faces, so that they
+couldn't see it?' So she stood still where she was, and waited.
+When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped and looked at her,
+and the Queen said severely `Who is this?' She said it to the Knave of Hearts,
+who only bowed and smiled in reply.
+`Idiot!' said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and, turning to Alice,
+she went on, `What's your name, child?'
+`My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,' said Alice very politely; but she
+added, to herself, `Why, they're only a pack of cards, after all. I needn't be
+afraid of them!'
+`And who are THESE?' said the Queen, pointing to the three gardeners who were
+lying round the rosetree; for, you see, as they were lying on their faces, and
+the pattern on their backs was the same as the rest of the pack, she could not
+tell whether they were gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her
+own children.
+`How should I know?' said Alice, surprised at her own courage. `It's no
+business of MINE.'
+The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her for a moment like
+a wild beast, screamed `Off with her head! Off--'
+`Nonsense!' said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen was silent.
+The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said `Consider, my dear: she
+is only a child!'
+The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave `Turn them over!'
+The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot.
+`Get up!' said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the three gardeners
+instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the King, the Queen, the royal
+children, and everybody else.
+`Leave off that!' screamed the Queen. `You make me giddy.' And then, turning to
+the rose-tree, she went on, `What HAVE you been doing here?'
+`May it please your Majesty,' said Two, in a very humble tone, going down on
+one knee as he spoke, `we were trying--'
+`I see!' said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the roses. `Off with
+their heads!' and the procession moved on, three of the soldiers remaining
+behind to execute the unfortunate gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection.
+`You shan't be beheaded!' said Alice, and she put them into a large flower-pot
+that stood near. The three soldiers wandered about for a minute or two, looking
+for them, and then quietly marched off after the others.
+`Are their heads off?' shouted the Queen.
+`Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!' the soldiers shouted in
+`That's right!' shouted the Queen. `Can you play croquet?'
+The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question was evidently
+meant for her.
+`Yes!' shouted Alice.
+`Come on, then!' roared the Queen, and Alice joined the procession, wondering
+very much what would happen next.
+`It's--it's a very fine day!' said a timid voice at her side. She was walking
+by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her face.
+`Very,' said Alice: `--where's the Duchess?'
+`Hush! Hush!' said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He looked anxiously over
+his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised himself upon tiptoe, put his mouth
+close to her ear, and whispered `She's under sentence of execution.'
+`What for?' said Alice.
+`Did you say "What a pity!"?' the Rabbit asked.
+`No, I didn't,' said Alice: `I don't think it's at all a pity. I said "What
+`She boxed the Queen's ears--' the Rabbit began. Alice gave a little scream of
+laughter. `Oh, hush!' the Rabbit whispered in a frightened tone. `The Queen
+will hear you! You see, she came rather late, and the Queen said--'
+`Get to your places!' shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder, and people began
+running about in all directions, tumbling up against each other; however, they
+got settled down in a minute or two, and the game began. Alice thought she had
+never seen such a curious croquet-ground in her life; it was all ridges and
+furrows; the balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets live flamingoes, and the
+soldiers had to double themselves up and to stand on their hands and feet, to
+make the arches.
+The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her flamingo: she
+succeeded in getting its body tucked away, comfortably enough, under her arm,
+with its legs hanging down, but generally, just as she had got its neck nicely
+straightened out, and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it
+WOULD twist itself round and look up in her face, with such a puzzled
+expression that she could not help bursting out laughing: and when she had got
+its head down, and was going to begin again, it was very provoking to find that
+the hedgehog had unrolled itself, and was in the act of crawling away: besides
+all this, there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever she wanted
+to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers were always getting up
+and walking off to other parts of the ground, Alice soon came to the conclusion
+that it was a very difficult game indeed.
+The players all played at once without waiting for turns, quarrelling all the
+while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in a very short time the Queen was
+in a furious passion, and went stamping about, and shouting `Off with his
+head!' or `Off with her head!' about once in a minute.
+Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had not as yet had any dispute
+with the Queen, but she knew that it might happen any minute, `and then,'
+thought she, `what would become of me? They're dreadfully fond of beheading
+people here; the great wonder is, that there's any one left alive!'
+She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering whether she could
+get away without being seen, when she noticed a curious appearance in the air:
+it puzzled her very much at first, but, after watching it a minute or two, she
+made it out to be a grin, and she said to herself `It's the Cheshire Cat: now I
+shall have somebody to talk to.'
+`How are you getting on?' said the Cat, as soon as there was mouth enough for
+it to speak with.
+Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. `It's no use speaking to
+it,' she thought, `till its ears have come, or at least one of them.' In
+another minute the whole head appeared, and then Alice put down her flamingo,
+and began an account of the game, feeling very glad she had someone to listen
+to her. The Cat seemed to think that there was enough of it now in sight, and
+no more of it appeared.
+`I don't think they play at all fairly,' Alice began, in rather a complaining
+tone, `and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't hear oneself speak--and
+they don't seem to have any rules in particular; at least, if there are, nobody
+attends to them--and you've no idea how confusing it is all the things being
+alive; for instance, there's the arch I've got to go through next walking about
+at the other end of the ground--and I should have croqueted the Queen's
+hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it saw mine coming!'
+`How do you like the Queen?' said the Cat in a low voice.
+`Not at all,' said Alice: `she's so extremely--' Just then she noticed that the
+Queen was close behind her, listening: so she went on, `--likely to win, that
+it's hardly worth while finishing the game.'
+The Queen smiled and passed on.
+`Who ARE you talking to?' said the King, going up to Alice, and looking at the
+Cat's head with great curiosity.
+`It's a friend of mine--a Cheshire Cat,' said Alice: `allow me to introduce
+`I don't like the look of it at all,' said the King: `however, it may kiss my
+hand if it likes.'
+`I'd rather not,' the Cat remarked.
+`Don't be impertinent,' said the King, `and don't look at me like that!' He got
+behind Alice as he spoke.
+`A cat may look at a king,' said Alice. `I've read that in some book, but I
+don't remember where.'
+`Well, it must be removed,' said the King very decidedly, and he called the
+Queen, who was passing at the moment, `My dear! I wish you would have this cat
+The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great or small. `Off
+with his head!' she said, without even looking round.
+`I'll fetch the executioner myself,' said the King eagerly, and he hurried off.
+Alice thought she might as well go back, and see how the game was going on, as
+she heard the Queen's voice in the distance, screaming with passion. She had
+already heard her sentence three of the players to be executed for having
+missed their turns, and she did not like the look of things at all, as the game
+was in such confusion that she never knew whether it was her turn or not. So
+she went in search of her hedgehog.
+The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog, which seemed to
+Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one of them with the other: the
+only difficulty was, that her flamingo was gone across to the other side of the
+garden, where Alice could see it trying in a helpless sort of way to fly up
+into a tree.
+By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back, the fight was
+over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight: `but it doesn't matter much,'
+thought Alice, `as all the arches are gone from this side of the ground.' So
+she tucked it away under her arm, that it might not escape again, and went back
+for a little more conversation with her friend.
+When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to find quite a large
+crowd collected round it: there was a dispute going on between the executioner,
+the King, and the Queen, who were all talking at once, while all the rest were
+quite silent, and looked very uncomfortable.
+The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to settle the
+question, and they repeated their arguments to her, though, as they all spoke
+at once, she found it very hard indeed to make out exactly what they said.
+The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut off a head unless there
+was a body to cut it off from: that he had never had to do such a thing before,
+and he wasn't going to begin at HIS time of life.
+The King's argument was, that anything that had a head could be beheaded, and
+that you weren't to talk nonsense.
+The Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't done about it in less than
+no time she'd have everybody executed, all round. (It was this last remark that
+had made the whole party look so grave and anxious.)
+Alice could think of nothing else to say but `It belongs to the Duchess: you'd
+better ask HER about it.'
+`She's in prison,' the Queen said to the executioner: `fetch her here.' And the
+executioner went off like an arrow.
+The Cat's head began fading away the moment he was gone, and, by the time he
+had come back with the Duchess, it had entirely disappeared; so the King and
+the executioner ran wildly up and down looking for it, while the rest of the
+party went back to the game.
+CHAPTER IX - The Mock Turtle's Story
+`You can't think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old thing!' said the
+Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionately into Alice's, and they walked off
+Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, and thought to
+herself that perhaps it was only the pepper that had made her so savage when
+they met in the kitchen.
+`When I'M a Duchess,' she said to herself, (not in a very hopeful tone though),
+`I won't have any pepper in my kitchen AT ALL. Soup does very well
+without--Maybe it's always pepper that makes people hot-tempered,' she went on,
+very much pleased at having found out a new kind of rule, `and vinegar that
+makes them sour--and camomile that makes them bitter--and--and barley-sugar and
+such things that make children sweet-tempered. I only wish people knew that:
+then they wouldn't be so stingy about it, you know--'
+She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was a little startled
+when she heard her voice close to her ear. `You're thinking about something, my
+dear, and that makes you forget to talk. I can't tell you just now what the
+moral of that is, but I shall remember it in a bit.'
+`Perhaps it hasn't one,' Alice ventured to remark.
+`Tut, tut, child!' said the Duchess. `Everything's got a moral, if only you can
+find it.' And she squeezed herself up closer to Alice's side as she spoke.
+Alice did not much like keeping so close to her: first, because the Duchess was
+VERY ugly; and secondly, because she was exactly the right height to rest her
+chin upon Alice's shoulder, and it was an uncomfortably sharp chin. However,
+she did not like to be rude, so she bore it as well as she could.
+`The game's going on rather better now,' she said, by way of keeping up the
+conversation a little.
+`'Tis so,' said the Duchess: `and the moral of that is--"Oh, 'tis love, 'tis
+love, that makes the world go round!"'
+`Somebody said,' Alice whispered, `that it's done by everybody minding their
+own business!'
+`Ah, well! It means much the same thing,' said the Duchess, digging her sharp
+little chin into Alice's shoulder as she added, `and the moral of THAT
+is--"Take care of the sense, and the sounds will take care of themselves."'
+`How fond she is of finding morals in things!' Alice thought to herself.
+`I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm round your waist,' the
+Duchess said after a pause: `the reason is, that I'm doubtful about the temper
+of your flamingo. Shall I try the experiment?'
+`HE might bite,' Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all anxious to have
+the experiment tried.
+`Very true,' said the Duchess: `flamingoes and mustard both bite. And the moral
+of that is--"Birds of a feather flock together."'
+`Only mustard isn't a bird,' Alice remarked.
+`Right, as usual,' said the Duchess: `what a clear way you have of putting
+`It's a mineral, I THINK,' said Alice.
+`Of course it is,' said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree to everything
+that Alice said; `there's a large mustard-mine near here. And the moral of that
+is--"The more there is of mine, the less there is of yours."'
+`Oh, I know!' exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this last remark, `it's
+a vegetable. It doesn't look like one, but it is.'
+`I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess; `and the moral of that is--"Be what
+you would seem to be"--or if you'd like it put more simply--"Never imagine
+yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you
+were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have
+appeared to them to be otherwise."'
+`I think I should understand that better,' Alice said very politely, `if I had
+it written down: but I can't quite follow it as you say it.'
+`That's nothing to what I could say if I chose,' the Duchess replied, in a
+pleased tone.
+`Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,' said Alice.
+`Oh, don't talk about trouble!' said the Duchess. `I make you a present of
+everything I've said as yet.'
+`A cheap sort of present!' thought Alice. `I'm glad they don't give birthday
+presents like that!' But she did not venture to say it out loud.
+`Thinking again?' the Duchess asked, with another dig of her sharp little chin.
+`I've a right to think,' said Alice sharply, for she was beginning to feel a
+little worried.
+`Just about as much right,' said the Duchess, `as pigs have to fly; and the
+But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's voice died away, even in the
+middle of her favourite word `moral,' and the arm that was linked into hers
+began to tremble. Alice looked up, and there stood the Queen in front of them,
+with her arms folded, frowning like a thunderstorm.
+`A fine day, your Majesty!' the Duchess began in a low, weak voice.
+`Now, I give you fair warning,' shouted the Queen, stamping on the ground as
+she spoke; `either you or your head must be off, and that in about half no
+time! Take your choice!'
+The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment.
+`Let's go on with the game,' the Queen said to Alice; and Alice was too much
+frightened to say a word, but slowly followed her back to the croquet-ground.
+The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's absence, and were resting
+in the shade: however, the moment they saw her, they hurried back to the game,
+the Queen merely remarking that a moment's delay would cost them their lives.
+All the time they were playing the Queen never left off quarrelling with the
+other players, and shouting `Off with his head!' or `Off with her head!' Those
+whom she sentenced were taken into custody by the soldiers, who of course had
+to leave off being arches to do this, so that by the end of half an hour or so
+there were no arches left, and all the players, except the King, the Queen, and
+Alice, were in custody and under sentence of execution.
+Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to Alice, `Have you seen
+the Mock Turtle yet?'
+`No,' said Alice. `I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is.'
+`It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,' said the Queen.
+`I never saw one, or heard of one,' said Alice.
+`Come on, then,' said the Queen, `and he shall tell you his history,'
+As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low voice, to the
+company generally, `You are all pardoned.' `Come, THAT'S a good thing!' she
+said to herself, for she had felt quite unhappy at the number of executions the
+Queen had ordered.
+They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the sun. (IF you don't
+know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.) `Up, lazy thing!' said the Queen,
+`and take this young lady to see the Mock Turtle, and to hear his history. I
+must go back and see after some executions I have ordered'; and she walked off,
+leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon. Alice did not quite like the look of the
+creature, but on the whole she thought it would be quite as safe to stay with
+it as to go after that savage Queen: so she waited.
+The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it watched the Queen till she was
+out of sight: then it chuckled. `What fun!' said the Gryphon, half to itself,
+half to Alice.
+`What IS the fun?' said Alice.
+`Why, SHE,' said the Gryphon. `It's all her fancy, that: they never executes
+nobody, you know. Come on!'
+`Everybody says "come on!" here,' thought Alice, as she went slowly after it:
+`I never was so ordered about in all my life, never!'
+They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the distance, sitting
+sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and, as they came nearer, Alice could
+hear him sighing as if his heart would break. She pitied him deeply. `What is
+his sorrow?' she asked the Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in
+the same words as before, `It's all his fancy, that: he hasn't got no sorrow,
+you know. Come on!'
+So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with large eyes full of
+tears, but said nothing.
+`This here young lady,' said the Gryphon, `she wants for to know your history,
+she do.'
+`I'll tell it her,' said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow tone: `sit down,
+both of you, and don't speak a word till I've finished.'
+So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice thought to herself,
+`I don't see how he can EVEN finish, if he doesn't begin.' But she waited
+`Once,' said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, `I was a real Turtle.'
+These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only by an occasional
+exclamation of `Hjckrrh!' from the Gryphon, and the constant heavy sobbing of
+the Mock Turtle. Alice was very nearly getting up and saying, `Thank you, sir,
+for your interesting story,' but she could not help thinking there MUST be more
+to come, so she sat still and said nothing.
+`When we were little,' the Mock Turtle went on at last, more calmly, though
+still sobbing a little now and then, `we went to school in the sea. The master
+was an old Turtle--we used to call him Tortoise--'
+`Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?' Alice asked.
+`We called him Tortoise because he taught us,' said the Mock Turtle angrily:
+`really you are very dull!'
+`You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple question,' added
+the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and looked at poor Alice, who felt
+ready to sink into the earth. At last the Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle,
+`Drive on, old fellow! Don't be all day about it!' and he went on in these
+`Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe it--'
+`I never said I didn't!' interrupted Alice.
+`You did,' said the Mock Turtle.
+`Hold your tongue!' added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak again. The Mock
+Turtle went on.
+`We had the best of educations--in fact, we went to school every day--'
+`I'VE been to a day-school, too,' said Alice; `you needn't be so proud as all
+`With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously.
+`Yes,' said Alice, `we learned French and music.'
+`And washing?' said the Mock Turtle.
+`Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly.
+`Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school,' said the Mock Turtle in a tone of
+great relief. `Now at OURS they had at the end of the bill, "French, music, AND
+`You couldn't have wanted it much,' said Alice; `living at the bottom of the
+`I couldn't afford to learn it.' said the Mock Turtle with a sigh. `I only took
+the regular course.'
+`What was that?' inquired Alice.
+`Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,' the Mock Turtle replied; `and
+then the different branches of Arithmetic-- Ambition, Distraction,
+Uglification, and Derision.'
+`I never heard of "Uglification,"' Alice ventured to say. `What is it?'
+The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. `What! Never heard of
+uglifying!' it exclaimed. `You know what to beautify is, I suppose?'
+`Yes,' said Alice doubtfully: `it means--to--make--anything--prettier.'
+`Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, `if you don't know what to uglify is, you
+ARE a simpleton.'
+Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about it, so she turned
+to the Mock Turtle, and said `What else had you to learn?'
+`Well, there was Mystery,' the Mock Turtle replied, counting off the subjects
+on his flappers, `--Mystery, ancient and modern, with Seaography: then
+Drawling--the Drawling-master was an old conger-eel, that used to come once a
+week: HE taught us Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting in Coils.'
+`What was THAT like?' said Alice.
+`Well, I can't show it you myself,' the Mock Turtle said: `I'm too stiff. And
+the Gryphon never learnt it.'
+`Hadn't time,' said the Gryphon: `I went to the Classics master, though. He was
+an old crab, HE was.'
+`I never went to him,' the Mock Turtle said with a sigh: `he taught Laughing
+and Grief, they used to say.'
+`So he did, so he did,' said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn; and both
+creatures hid their faces in their paws.
+`And how many hours a day did you do lessons?' said Alice, in a hurry to change
+the subject.
+`Ten hours the first day,' said the Mock Turtle: `nine the next, and so on.'
+`What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice.
+`That's the reason they're called lessons,' the Gryphon remarked: `because they
+lessen from day to day.'
+This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over a little before she
+made her next remark. `Then the eleventh day must have been a holiday?'
+`Of course it was,' said the Mock Turtle.
+`And how did you manage on the twelfth?' Alice went on eagerly.
+`That's enough about lessons,' the Gryphon interrupted in a very decided tone:
+`tell her something about the games now.'
+CHAPTER X - The Lobster Quadrille
+The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one flapper across his
+eyes. He looked at Alice, and tried to speak, but for a minute or two sobs
+choked his voice. `Same as if he had a bone in his throat,' said the Gryphon:
+and it set to work shaking him and punching him in the back. At last the Mock
+Turtle recovered his voice, and, with tears running down his cheeks, he went on
+`You may not have lived much under the sea--' (`I haven't,' said Alice)-- `and
+perhaps you were never even introduced to a lobster--' (Alice began to say `I
+once tasted--' but checked herself hastily, and said `No, never') `--so you can
+have no idea what a delightful thing a Lobster Quadrille is!'
+`No, indeed,' said Alice. `What sort of a dance is it?'
+`Why,' said the Gryphon, `you first form into a line along the sea-shore--'
+`Two lines!' cried the Mock Turtle. `Seals, turtles, salmon, and so on; then,
+when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of the way--'
+`THAT generally takes some time,' interrupted the Gryphon.
+`--you advance twice--'
+`Each with a lobster as a partner!' cried the Gryphon.
+`Of course,' the Mock Turtle said: `advance twice, set to partners--'
+`--change lobsters, and retire in same order,' continued the Gryphon.
+`Then, you know,' the Mock Turtle went on, `you throw the--'
+`The lobsters!' shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the air.
+`--as far out to sea as you can--'
+`Swim after them!' screamed the Gryphon.
+`Turn a somersault in the sea!' cried the Mock Turtle, capering wildly about.
+`Change lobsters again!' yelled the Gryphon at the top of its voice.
+`Back to land again, and that's all the first figure,' said the Mock Turtle,
+suddenly dropping his voice; and the two creatures, who had been jumping about
+like mad things all this time, sat down again very sadly and quietly, and
+looked at Alice.
+`It must be a very pretty dance,' said Alice timidly.
+`Would you like to see a little of it?' said the Mock Turtle.
+`Very much indeed,' said Alice.
+`Come, let's try the first figure!' said the Mock Turtle to the Gryphon. `We
+can do without lobsters, you know. Which shall sing?'
+`Oh, YOU sing,' said the Gryphon. `I've forgotten the words.'
+So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now and then
+treading on her toes when they passed too close, and waving their forepaws to
+mark the time, while the Mock Turtle sang this, very slowly and sadly:--
+`"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail. "There's a
+porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my tail. See how eagerly the
+lobsters and the turtles all advance! They are waiting on the shingle--will
+you come and join the dance?
+Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance? Will you,
+won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?
+"You can really have no notion how delightful it will be When they take us up
+and throw us, with the lobsters, out to sea!" But the snail replied "Too far,
+too far!" and gave a look askance-- Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he
+would not join the dance. Would not, could not, would not, could not, would
+not join the dance. Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join
+the dance.
+`"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied. "There is another
+shore, you know, upon the other side. The further off from England the nearer
+is to France-- Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance.
+ Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the
+ dance?
+ Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the
+ dance?"'
+`Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch,' said Alice, feeling very
+glad that it was over at last: `and I do so like that curious song about the
+`Oh, as to the whiting,' said the Mock Turtle, `they--you've seen them, of
+`Yes,' said Alice, `I've often seen them at dinn--' she checked herself
+`I don't know where Dinn may be,' said the Mock Turtle, `but if you've seen
+them so often, of course you know what they're like.'
+`I believe so,' Alice replied thoughtfully. `They have their tails in their
+mouths--and they're all over crumbs.'
+`You're wrong about the crumbs,' said the Mock Turtle: `crumbs would all wash
+off in the sea. But they HAVE their tails in their mouths; and the reason is--'
+here the Mock Turtle yawned and shut his eyes.--`Tell her about the reason and
+all that,' he said to the Gryphon.
+`The reason is,' said the Gryphon, `that they WOULD go with the lobsters to the
+dance. So they got thrown out to sea. So they had to fall a long way. So they
+got their tails fast in their mouths. So they couldn't get them out again.
+That's all.'
+`Thank you,' said Alice, `it's very interesting. I never knew so much about a
+whiting before.'
+`I can tell you more than that, if you like,' said the Gryphon. `Do you know
+why it's called a whiting?'
+`I never thought about it,' said Alice. `Why?'
+`IT DOES THE BOOTS AND SHOES.' the Gryphon replied very solemnly.
+Alice was thoroughly puzzled. `Does the boots and shoes!' she repeated in a
+wondering tone.
+`Why, what are YOUR shoes done with?' said the Gryphon. `I mean, what makes
+them so shiny?'
+Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she gave her answer.
+`They're done with blacking, I believe.'
+`Boots and shoes under the sea,' the Gryphon went on in a deep voice, `are done
+with a whiting. Now you know.'
+`And what are they made of?' Alice asked in a tone of great curiosity.
+`Soles and eels, of course,' the Gryphon replied rather impatiently: `any
+shrimp could have told you that.'
+`If I'd been the whiting,' said Alice, whose thoughts were still running on the
+song, `I'd have said to the porpoise, "Keep back, please: we don't want YOU
+with us!"'
+`They were obliged to have him with them,' the Mock Turtle said: `no wise fish
+would go anywhere without a porpoise.'
+`Wouldn't it really?' said Alice in a tone of great surprise.
+`Of course not,' said the Mock Turtle: `why, if a fish came to ME, and told me
+he was going a journey, I should say "With what porpoise?"'
+`Don't you mean "purpose"?' said Alice.
+`I mean what I say,' the Mock Turtle replied in an offended tone. And the
+Gryphon added `Come, let's hear some of YOUR adventures.'
+`I could tell you my adventures--beginning from this morning,' said Alice a
+little timidly: `but it's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a
+different person then.'
+`Explain all that,' said the Mock Turtle.
+`No, no! The adventures first,' said the Gryphon in an impatient tone:
+`explanations take such a dreadful time.'
+So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when she first saw the
+White Rabbit. She was a little nervous about it just at first, the two
+creatures got so close to her, one on each side, and opened their eyes and
+mouths so VERY wide, but she gained courage as she went on. Her listeners were
+perfectly quiet till she got to the part about her repeating `YOU ARE OLD,
+FATHER WILLIAM,' to the Caterpillar, and the words all coming different, and
+then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath, and said `That's very curious.'
+`It's all about as curious as it can be,' said the Gryphon.
+`It all came different!' the Mock Turtle repeated thoughtfully. `I should like
+to hear her try and repeat something now. Tell her to begin.' He looked at the
+Gryphon as if he thought it had some kind of authority over Alice.
+`Stand up and repeat "'TIS THE VOICE OF THE SLUGGARD,"' said the Gryphon.
+`How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat lessons!' thought
+Alice; `I might as well be at school at once.' However, she got up, and began
+to repeat it, but her head was so full of the Lobster Quadrille, that she
+hardly knew what she was saying, and the words came very queer indeed:--
+ `'Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare,
+ "You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair."
+ As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose
+ Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.'
+ [later editions continued as follows
+ When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark,
+ And will talk in contemptuous tones of the Shark,
+ But, when the tide rises and sharks are around,
+ His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.]
+`That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,' said the
+`Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; `but it sounds uncommon
+Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her hands, wondering if
+anything would EVER happen in a natural way again.
+`I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock Turtle.
+`She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily. `Go on with the next verse.'
+`But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted. `How COULD he turn them out
+with his nose, you know?'
+`It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but was dreadfully puzzled by
+the whole thing, and longed to change the subject.
+`Go on with the next verse,' the Gryphon repeated impatiently: `it begins "I
+passed by his garden."'
+Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would all come wrong,
+and she went on in a trembling voice:--
+ `I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye,
+ How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie--'
+ [later editions continued as follows
+ The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat,
+ While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat.
+ When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon,
+ Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon:
+ While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl,
+ And concluded the banquet--]
+`What IS the use of repeating all that stuff,' the Mock Turtle interrupted, `if
+you don't explain it as you go on? It's by far the most confusing thing I ever
+`Yes, I think you'd better leave off,' said the Gryphon: and Alice was only too
+glad to do so.
+`Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?' the Gryphon went on.
+`Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song?'
+`Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind,' Alice replied, so
+eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather offended tone, `Hm! No accounting
+for tastes! Sing her "Turtle Soup," will you, old fellow?'
+The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes choked with
+sobs, to sing this:--
+ `Beautiful Soup, so rich and green,
+ Waiting in a hot tureen!
+ Who for such dainties would not stoop?
+ Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
+ Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
+ Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
+ Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
+ Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,
+ Beautiful, beautiful Soup!
+ `Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish,
+ Game, or any other dish?
+ Who would not give all else for two
+ Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
+ Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
+ Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
+ Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
+ Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,
+ Beautiful, beauti--FUL SOUP!'
+`Chorus again!' cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had just begun to repeat
+it, when a cry of `The trial's beginning!' was heard in the distance.
+`Come on!' cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand, it hurried off,
+without waiting for the end of the song.
+`What trial is it?' Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon only answered
+`Come on!' and ran the faster, while more and more faintly came, carried on the
+breeze that followed them, the melancholy words:--
+ `Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,
+ Beautiful, beautiful Soup!'
+CHAPTER XI - Who Stole the Tarts?
+The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when they arrived,
+with a great crowd assembled about them--all sorts of little birds and beasts,
+as well as the whole pack of cards: the Knave was standing before them, in
+chains, with a soldier on each side to guard him; and near the King was the
+White Rabbit, with a trumpet in one hand, and a scroll of parchment in the
+other. In the very middle of the court was a table, with a large dish of tarts
+upon it: they looked so good, that it made Alice quite hungry to look at
+them--`I wish they'd get the trial done,' she thought, `and hand round the
+refreshments!' But there seemed to be no chance of this, so she began looking
+at everything about her, to pass away the time.
+Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but she had read about them
+in books, and she was quite pleased to find that she knew the name of nearly
+everything there. `That's the judge,' she said to herself, `because of his
+great wig.'
+The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown over the wig,
+(look at the frontispiece if you want to see how he did it,) he did not look at
+all comfortable, and it was certainly not becoming.
+`And that's the jury-box,' thought Alice, `and those twelve creatures,' (she
+was obliged to say `creatures,' you see, because some of them were animals, and
+some were birds,) `I suppose they are the jurors.' She said this last word two
+or three times over to herself, being rather proud of it: for she thought, and
+rightly too, that very few little girls of her age knew the meaning of it at
+all. However, `jury-men' would have done just as well.
+The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates. `What are they
+doing?' Alice whispered to the Gryphon. `They can't have anything to put down
+yet, before the trial's begun.'
+`They're putting down their names,' the Gryphon whispered in reply, `for fear
+they should forget them before the end of the trial.'
+`Stupid things!' Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, but she stopped
+hastily, for the White Rabbit cried out, `Silence in the court!' and the King
+put on his spectacles and looked anxiously round, to make out who was talking.
+Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their shoulders, that all
+the jurors were writing down `stupid things!' on their slates, and she could
+even make out that one of them didn't know how to spell `stupid,' and that he
+had to ask his neighbour to tell him. `A nice muddle their slates'll be in
+before the trial's over!' thought Alice.
+One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This of course, Alice could not
+stand, and she went round the court and got behind him, and very soon found an
+opportunity of taking it away. She did it so quickly that the poor little juror
+(it was Bill, the Lizard) could not make out at all what had become of it; so,
+after hunting all about for it, he was obliged to write with one finger for the
+rest of the day; and this was of very little use, as it left no mark on the
+`Herald, read the accusation!' said the King.
+On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and then unrolled
+the parchment scroll, and read as follows:--
+ `The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts,
+ All on a summer day:
+ The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts,
+ And took them quite away!'
+`Consider your verdict,' the King said to the jury.
+`Not yet, not yet!' the Rabbit hastily interrupted. `There's a great deal to
+come before that!'
+`Call the first witness,' said the King; and the White Rabbit blew three blasts
+on the trumpet, and called out, `First witness!'
+The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in one hand and a
+piece of bread-and-butter in the other. `I beg pardon, your Majesty,' he began,
+`for bringing these in: but I hadn't quite finished my tea when I was sent
+`You ought to have finished,' said the King. `When did you begin?'
+The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into the court,
+arm-in-arm with the Dormouse. `Fourteenth of March, I think it was,' he said.
+`Fifteenth,' said the March Hare.
+`Sixteenth,' added the Dormouse.
+`Write that down,' the King said to the jury, and the jury eagerly wrote down
+all three dates on their slates, and then added them up, and reduced the answer
+to shillings and pence.
+`Take off your hat,' the King said to the Hatter.
+`It isn't mine,' said the Hatter.
+`Stolen!' the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who instantly made a
+memorandum of the fact.
+`I keep them to sell,' the Hatter added as an explanation; `I've none of my
+own. I'm a hatter.'
+Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring at the Hatter, who
+turned pale and fidgeted.
+`Give your evidence,' said the King; `and don't be nervous, or I'll have you
+executed on the spot.'
+This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: he kept shifting from one
+foot to the other, looking uneasily at the Queen, and in his confusion he bit a
+large piece out of his teacup instead of the bread-and-butter.
+Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which puzzled her a
+good deal until she made out what it was: she was beginning to grow larger
+again, and she thought at first she would get up and leave the court; but on
+second thoughts she decided to remain where she was as long as there was room
+for her.
+`I wish you wouldn't squeeze so.' said the Dormouse, who was sitting next to
+her. `I can hardly breathe.'
+`I can't help it,' said Alice very meekly: `I'm growing.'
+`You've no right to grow here,' said the Dormouse.
+`Don't talk nonsense,' said Alice more boldly: `you know you're growing too.'
+`Yes, but I grow at a reasonable pace,' said the Dormouse: `not in that
+ridiculous fashion.' And he got up very sulkily and crossed over to the other
+side of the court.
+All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the Hatter, and, just as
+the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to one of the officers of the court,
+`Bring me the list of the singers in the last concert!' on which the wretched
+Hatter trembled so, that he shook both his shoes off.
+`Give your evidence,' the King repeated angrily, `or I'll have you executed,
+whether you're nervous or not.'
+`I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' the Hatter began, in a trembling voice, `--and
+I hadn't begun my tea--not above a week or so--and what with the
+bread-and-butter getting so thin--and the twinkling of the tea--'
+`The twinkling of the what?' said the King.
+`It began with the tea,' the Hatter replied.
+`Of course twinkling begins with a T!' said the King sharply. `Do you take me
+for a dunce? Go on!'
+`I'm a poor man,' the Hatter went on, `and most things twinkled after
+that--only the March Hare said--'
+`I didn't!' the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry.
+`You did!' said the Hatter.
+`I deny it!' said the March Hare.
+`He denies it,' said the King: `leave out that part.'
+`Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said--' the Hatter went on, looking anxiously
+round to see if he would deny it too: but the Dormouse denied nothing, being
+fast asleep.
+`After that,' continued the Hatter, `I cut some more bread- and-butter--'
+`But what did the Dormouse say?' one of the jury asked.
+`That I can't remember,' said the Hatter.
+`You MUST remember,' remarked the King, `or I'll have you executed.'
+The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter, and went down on
+one knee. `I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' he began.
+`You're a very poor speaker,' said the King.
+Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately suppressed by the
+officers of the court. (As that is rather a hard word, I will just explain to
+you how it was done. They had a large canvas bag, which tied up at the mouth
+with strings: into this they slipped the guinea-pig, head first, and then sat
+upon it.)
+`I'm glad I've seen that done,' thought Alice. `I've so often read in the
+newspapers, at the end of trials, "There was some attempts at applause, which
+was immediately suppressed by the officers of the court," and I never
+understood what it meant till now.'
+`If that's all you know about it, you may stand down,' continued the King.
+`I can't go no lower,' said the Hatter: `I'm on the floor, as it is.'
+`Then you may SIT down,' the King replied.
+Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed.
+`Come, that finished the guinea-pigs!' thought Alice. `Now we shall get on
+`I'd rather finish my tea,' said the Hatter, with an anxious look at the Queen,
+who was reading the list of singers.
+`You may go,' said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the court, without
+even waiting to put his shoes on.
+`--and just take his head off outside,' the Queen added to one of the officers:
+but the Hatter was out of sight before the officer could get to the door.
+`Call the next witness!' said the King.
+The next witness was the Duchess's cook. She carried the pepper-box in her
+hand, and Alice guessed who it was, even before she got into the court, by the
+way the people near the door began sneezing all at once.
+`Give your evidence,' said the King.
+`Shan't,' said the cook.
+The King looked anxiously at the White Rabbit, who said in a low voice, `Your
+Majesty must cross-examine THIS witness.'
+`Well, if I must, I must,' the King said, with a melancholy air, and, after
+folding his arms and frowning at the cook till his eyes were nearly out of
+sight, he said in a deep voice, `What are tarts made of?'
+`Pepper, mostly,' said the cook.
+`Treacle,' said a sleepy voice behind her.
+`Collar that Dormouse,' the Queen shrieked out. `Behead that Dormouse! Turn
+that Dormouse out of court! Suppress him! Pinch him! Off with his whiskers!'
+For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the Dormouse turned
+out, and, by the time they had settled down again, the cook had disappeared.
+`Never mind!' said the King, with an air of great relief. `Call the next
+witness.' And he added in an undertone to the Queen, `Really, my dear, YOU must
+cross-examine the next witness. It quite makes my forehead ache!'
+Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list, feeling very
+curious to see what the next witness would be like, `--for they haven't got
+much evidence YET,' she said to herself. Imagine her surprise, when the White
+Rabbit read out, at the top of his shrill little voice, the name `Alice!'
+CHAPTER XII - Alice's Evidence
+`Here!' cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the moment how large she
+had grown in the last few minutes, and she jumped up in such a hurry that she
+tipped over the jury-box with the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen
+on to the heads of the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about,
+reminding her very much of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset the
+week before.
+`Oh, I BEG your pardon!' she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay, and began
+picking them up again as quickly as she could, for the accident of the goldfish
+kept running in her head, and she had a vague sort of idea that they must be
+collected at once and put back into the jury-box, or they would die.
+`The trial cannot proceed,' said the King in a very grave voice, `until all the
+jurymen are back in their proper places-- ALL,' he repeated with great
+emphasis, looking hard at Alice as he said do.
+Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she had put the
+Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing was waving its tail about
+in a melancholy way, being quite unable to move. She soon got it out again, and
+put it right; `not that it signifies much,' she said to herself; `I should
+think it would be QUITE as much use in the trial one way up as the other.'
+As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being upset, and
+their slates and pencils had been found and handed back to them, they set to
+work very diligently to write out a history of the accident, all except the
+Lizard, who seemed too much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth
+open, gazing up into the roof of the court.
+`What do you know about this business?' the King said to Alice.
+`Nothing,' said Alice.
+`Nothing WHATEVER?' persisted the King.
+`Nothing whatever,' said Alice.
+`That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury. They were just
+beginning to write this down on their slates, when the White Rabbit
+interrupted: `UNimportant, your Majesty means, of course,' he said in a very
+respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as he spoke.
+`UNimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, and went on to
+himself in an undertone, `important--unimportant-- unimportant--important--' as
+if he were trying which word sounded best.
+Some of the jury wrote it down `important,' and some `unimportant.' Alice could
+see this, as she was near enough to look over their slates; `but it doesn't
+matter a bit,' she thought to herself.
+At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily writing in his
+note-book, cackled out `Silence!' and read out from his book, `Rule Forty-two.
+Everybody looked at Alice.
+`I'M not a mile high,' said Alice.
+`You are,' said the King.
+`Nearly two miles high,' added the Queen.
+`Well, I shan't go, at any rate,' said Alice: `besides, that's not a regular
+rule: you invented it just now.'
+`It's the oldest rule in the book,' said the King.
+`Then it ought to be Number One,' said Alice.
+The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily. `Consider your verdict,'
+he said to the jury, in a low, trembling voice.
+`There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,' said the White
+Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; `this paper has just been picked up.'
+`What's in it?' said the Queen.
+`I haven't opened it yet,' said the White Rabbit, `but it seems to be a letter,
+written by the prisoner to--to somebody.'
+`It must have been that,' said the King, `unless it was written to nobody,
+which isn't usual, you know.'
+`Who is it directed to?' said one of the jurymen.
+`It isn't directed at all,' said the White Rabbit; `in fact, there's nothing
+written on the OUTSIDE.' He unfolded the paper as he spoke, and added `It isn't
+a letter, after all: it's a set of verses.'
+`Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?' asked another of the jurymen.
+`No, they're not,' said the White Rabbit, `and that's the queerest thing about
+it.' (The jury all looked puzzled.)
+`He must have imitated somebody else's hand,' said the King. (The jury all
+brightened up again.)
+`Please your Majesty,' said the Knave, `I didn't write it, and they can't prove
+I did: there's no name signed at the end.'
+`If you didn't sign it,' said the King, `that only makes the matter worse. You
+MUST have meant some mischief, or else you'd have signed your name like an
+honest man.'
+There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the first really clever
+thing the King had said that day.
+`That PROVES his guilt,' said the Queen.
+`It proves nothing of the sort!' said Alice. `Why, you don't even know what
+they're about!'
+`Read them,' said the King.
+The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. `Where shall I begin, please your
+Majesty?' he asked.
+`Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, `and go on till you come to
+the end: then stop.'
+These were the verses the White Rabbit read:--
+ `They told me you had been to her,
+ And mentioned me to him:
+ She gave me a good character,
+ But said I could not swim.
+ He sent them word I had not gone
+ (We know it to be true):
+ If she should push the matter on,
+ What would become of you?
+ I gave her one, they gave him two,
+ You gave us three or more;
+ They all returned from him to you,
+ Though they were mine before.
+ If I or she should chance to be
+ Involved in this affair,
+ He trusts to you to set them free,
+ Exactly as we were.
+ My notion was that you had been
+ (Before she had this fit)
+ An obstacle that came between
+ Him, and ourselves, and it.
+ Don't let him know she liked them best,
+ For this must ever be
+ A secret, kept from all the rest,
+ Between yourself and me.'
+`That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet,' said the King,
+rubbing his hands; `so now let the jury--'
+`If any one of them can explain it,' said Alice, (she had grown so large in the
+last few minutes that she wasn't a bit afraid of interrupting him,) `I'll give
+him sixpence. _{I}_ don't believe there's an atom of meaning in it.'
+The jury all wrote down on their slates, `SHE doesn't believe there's an atom
+of meaning in it,' but none of them attempted to explain the paper.
+`If there's no meaning in it,' said the King, `that saves a world of trouble,
+you know, as we needn't try to find any. And yet I don't know,' he went on,
+spreading out the verses on his knee, and looking at them with one eye; `I seem
+to see some meaning in them, after all. "--SAID I COULD NOT SWIM--" you can't
+swim, can you?' he added, turning to the Knave.
+The Knave shook his head sadly. `Do I look like it?' he said. (Which he
+certainly did NOT, being made entirely of cardboard.)
+`All right, so far,' said the King, and he went on muttering over the verses to
+himself: `"WE KNOW IT TO BE TRUE--" that's the jury, of course-- "I GAVE HER
+ONE, THEY GAVE HIM TWO--" why, that must be what he did with the tarts, you
+`But, it goes on "THEY ALL RETURNED FROM HIM TO YOU,"' said Alice.
+`Why, there they are!' said the King triumphantly, pointing to the tarts on the
+table. `Nothing can be clearer than THAT. Then again--"BEFORE SHE HAD THIS
+FIT--" you never had fits, my dear, I think?' he said to the Queen.
+`Never!' said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the Lizard as she
+spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left off writing on his slate with one
+finger, as he found it made no mark; but he now hastily began again, using the
+ink, that was trickling down his face, as long as it lasted.)
+`Then the words don't FIT you,' said the King, looking round the court with a
+smile. There was a dead silence.
+`It's a pun!' the King added in an offended tone, and everybody laughed, `Let
+the jury consider their verdict,' the King said, for about the twentieth time
+that day.
+`No, no!' said the Queen. `Sentence first--verdict afterwards.'
+`Stuff and nonsense!' said Alice loudly. `The idea of having the sentence
+`Hold your tongue!' said the Queen, turning purple.
+`I won't!' said Alice.
+`Off with her head!' the Queen shouted at the top of her voice. Nobody moved.
+`Who cares for you?' said Alice, (she had grown to her full size by this time.)
+`You're nothing but a pack of cards!'
+At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying down upon her: she
+gave a little scream, half of fright and half of anger, and tried to beat them
+off, and found herself lying on the bank, with her head in the lap of her
+sister, who was gently brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down
+from the trees upon her face.
+`Wake up, Alice dear!' said her sister; `Why, what a long sleep you've had!'
+`Oh, I've had such a curious dream!' said Alice, and she told her sister, as
+well as she could remember them, all these strange Adventures of hers that you
+have just been reading about; and when she had finished, her sister kissed her,
+and said, `It WAS a curious dream, dear, certainly: but now run in to your tea;
+it's getting late.' So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she ran, as
+well she might, what a wonderful dream it had been.
+But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her head on her hand,
+watching the setting sun, and thinking of little Alice and all her wonderful
+Adventures, till she too began dreaming after a fashion, and this was her
+First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the tiny hands were
+clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes were looking up into hers--she
+could hear the very tones of her voice, and see that queer little toss of her
+head to keep back the wandering hair that WOULD always get into her eyes--and
+still as she listened, or seemed to listen, the whole place around her became
+alive the strange creatures of her little sister's dream.
+The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried by--the
+frightened Mouse splashed his way through the neighbouring pool--she could hear
+the rattle of the teacups as the March Hare and his friends shared their
+never-ending meal, and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering off her
+unfortunate guests to execution--once more the pig-baby was sneezing on the
+Duchess's knee, while plates and dishes crashed around it--once more the shriek
+of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard's slate-pencil, and the choking of
+the suppressed guinea-pigs, filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of
+the miserable Mock Turtle.
+So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in Wonderland,
+though she knew she had but to open them again, and all would change to dull
+reality--the grass would be only rustling in the wind, and the pool rippling to
+the waving of the reeds--the rattling teacups would change to tinkling
+sheep-bells, and the Queen's shrill cries to the voice of the shepherd boy--and
+the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, and all the other queer
+noises, would change (she knew) to the confused clamour of the busy
+farm-yard--while the lowing of the cattle in the distance would take the place
+of the Mock Turtle's heavy sobs.
+Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers would, in
+the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how she would keep, through all
+her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her childhood: and how she
+would gather about her other little children, and make THEIR eyes bright and
+eager with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland of
+long ago: and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows, and find a
+pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own child-life, and the
+happy summer days.